Written by Carroll a member of Women Move It Forward

A constant theme in my life revolves around not feeling safe. As a result, I have limited myself because of fear. Now that I am more aware of the limiting fears, I actively seek out techniques to examine and confront my fears and lay them to rest. Some techniques have been more successful than others…

Recently, I had an opportunity to examine my fear of death. I was listening to Matt Khan on YouTube. He matter-of-factly stated that every morning he makes a cup of coffee for Death. I found this concept intriguing and thought I would conduct my own experiment.

I started making two cups of coffee every morning. I placed one cup in front of one couch and one in front of myself as I sit across from the first cup. The plan is to chat with Death. I say, “Good morning Death. If today is my day to die, I invite you to come have coffee with me, do your worst and then we will go.” If by the time my coffee is gone and I am still here, I thank Death for another day. I also thank him for his cup of coffee as I drink it.

I have learned some valuable and interesting things about myself through this process.

On the first day, I learned that Death cannot have fully caffeinated coffee. Normally, I only have one cup of coffee each morning. Drinking two cups had me wired and prevented me from focusing on my daily chores. As a result, Death and I now share half caff coffee.

On the second day while I was drinking my coffee, I thought I saw the coffee across from me start to go down. What?! Wow! I took a breath. I knew it was my imagination but I started considering what it would mean if it was real. Did I mean what I said to Death? Was I prepared for the end? No. No I wasn’t. But more importantly, I realized I was not as comfortable with Death as I pretended to be. There was fear and panic in continuing this experiment but I resolved to continue and to become friends with Death.

The third day, I purposely imagined the coffee level drop and I surrendered to making peace with Death. Peace with the inevitability of my transition from the physical, sinking into the acceptance of this body staying here and my soul moving onwards. At this point I added another phrase to my experiment which is: “I am willing to die.”

On the fourth day, I realized that my thoughts around death previously had me paralyzed. Working towards becoming friends with Death led to an acceptance that eroded that paralysis. I was making progress and learning some truths. Death is a practical fellow with a dry sense of humor. It is just a job; it is not personal.

I have conducted this experiment for only a short period of time. However in this time, my sense of peace with death has increased. A truth I learned is my life will be fuller and richer because of the relationship I am fostering with Death. Do not misunderstand me, I am not seeking death. I am, however, removing as much fear around this inevitable transition as I can.

I am finding I can live more fully because of my morning coffee with Death.

Is the thought of dying affecting your entire life? If so, I would challenge you to have coffee with Death each morning to see what you learn.