disap bow

Written by Carroll a member of Women Move It Forward


What is disappointment?

The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines it as: 1: the act or an instance of disappointing :the state or emotion of being disappointed 2: one that disappoints. The definition of disappoint: to fail to meet the expectation or hope of

A while back I was introduced to a new perspective for the word disappointment. It focused on the process and energy around becoming disappointed. That process starts with a person having an expectation of someone else. There is a certain amount of power in the expectation. During the event that expectation is not realized and then they become aware of a lack in dependence. Disappointment is the effect of power which was unknowingly given away, being returned. As a coach this is something I have feared since I started down my path. Matt Kahn has given me freedom from this fear by showing me the underlying gift which awareness brings.

For example a client comes to me for coaching because they believe I am the one who can help them. In essence they give me the power of fixing them. During the session, I do not live up to the expectation because I cannot fix someone else only they can fix themselves. They become disappointed. They gain the awareness that I cannot fix their problem. The energy of the power they gave to me returns to them. So, as a coach I have empowered them in a rather uncomfortable way for each of us.

As I am moving through life now, I am incorporating the lesson of power exchange into my expectations.

In the past I would stop the process at the part where I become aware of the lack and now I realize that disappointment is me giving away my power at an unconscious level. This perspective allows me to look at the situation differently. Once I realize I am disappointed and that I have given my power away, I have the opportunity to laugh at myself reclaiming my power and the disappointment disappears. What a gift that is!

I challenge you to become aware the next time you are disappointed. Take a look at the situation and be thankful the person returned your power to you.