Contributed by BB Harding
Have you ever experienced that feeling and understanding where you want to make some changes, know you are in the middle of a shift, and it really isn’t time yet to move in a new direction?
For me that is a really uncomfortable feeling. It is a balancing act between getting out there and doing something to move things forward, and being and allowing things to emerge.
So, how do I know that I am in a shift? For me the cues are having an awareness that what I have been doing no longer holds the interest that it once did; and something new hasn’t quite come into focus for what is next.
I find that in these time, I really resonate with the saying that my mother was noted for – enough that it was printed on her remembrance card – “Dear God, grant me patience and do it NOW.” In fact one of my fond remembrances of my mother was when she died. My sister who was the initial point person as we traveled to her side, arranged for our mother to receive the Last Rites (Catholic ritual). She said that mother got very peaceful, even a hint of a smile on her face and went to sleep. A couple of hours later, she awoke from her nearly comatose state and yelled “why am I still here?” then slipped back out. As you can see, I come by this naturally. 😊
In my “future” I have these awarenesses – I will be moving, and I will be doing more in line with my mission, even though I am not totally clear about what that looks like. I have been looking for a place to live for coming up on a year now. I have been looking in areas between 3 and 4 hours from where I live now, so it requires at least a day trip to go check something out. I have seen more than 60 houses in person, and looked at pictures of 100’s of others online. I am also surrendering more and more into the knowing that the message that I received as an inspiration from my own guidance is not a mistake. I really am meant to share with the world that there is consciousness in all things, whether I (we) choose to recognize that or not. That somehow, this will be my contribution towards “heaven on earth” or bringing all of creation into communion.
It is during times like these, that I am aware of the inner parts of self that start to weigh in on these situations. Last week, a colleague facilitated me in a Voice Dialogue session with my “Angry part.” It became clear that my angry part wasn’t on board with doing something that allowed me to “be my authentic self” and buying a house that “felt right.” From its perspective, it was clear that the pareto principle would be a good thing. Find something in both situations and make it work. Well, having spent a lifetime of making it work, I know something about that. And everything within me says, nope, not the “right way” now. It really is time to move into a place of allowing and receiving. A place of doing what “feels good and right to me.” Great, now quiet the voices, both internally and externally, that doubt that I am approaching things the “right way” and want me to recognize that what I want doesn’t really exist without compromise.
So, how does one navigate the world where the direction is not clear? Holding out for what others call a “pipe dream” and just “go do it?” I am reminded of how an international speaker friend of mine shared in his speeches that the leader of a Japanese company was interviewed and shared that the company had a 500 year plan. One of the people in the audience asked the question “what does it take to implement a 500 year plan?” The response was “Patience.” Ah, that word, again.
Holding space for the what is emerging is becoming the new norm for me. Leaning into what I want and allowing it to come forward. Then paying attention to what feels right for me. This has been a huge shift for me and has created many new experiences. I find that I am beginning to trust myself more – that internally, there is a consistent sense of well-being that is present. Something else that is shifting is allowing myself to be informed by what “feels right for me.” House hunting has been a huge teacher for me in this area. The single largest thing has been watching how what “I want” is being informed by my experiences. For example, I thought a long-view was essential. I learned as I looked at houses with long-views over wide open fields and prairies that I was missing trees. I was adamant about having a place with 3 bedrooms – one for me, one for my office and one for a guest. I have learned that 2 bedrooms and 2 living spaces will work too. I want a place with some space around me. The question is learning about how much space around me.
As I step more into allowing the emergence, I also get to become aware of the beliefs and fears that are present. What will it take for me to trust that the universe wants for me to have exactly what I want without having to compromise? How can I move into a place of worthiness that I deserve to have what I want? How can I surrender to the timing of the things that are unfolding? How can I become even more comfortable with the uncertainty of not knowing exactly what will happen? How can I bring more love to this situation? As I explore these questions, there is a stronger sense of self that is emerging. One that is looking less and less to the outside world to get the validation that I am an OK being. This in itself has been liberating.
What do you need to allow/receive to navigate your life more easily?