How many times do you say, “I’ve got to do this…”?
How does it make you feel? Obligated? Forced? Maybe sometimes even resentful?
What if you changed the language to, “I get to do this…”?
Very different feel, right?
There are so few things that we “have to” do, and so many that we choose to do, perhaps not recognizing that we had a choice.
We can choose to cook dinner, pick something up or go out. We don’t “have to” cook. Perhaps we weigh the options and decide that we’d like to cook dinner for reasons of economy or health. Perhaps we decide to pick up fast food for reasons of convenience. Or we go out for dinner for companionship. Do you really “have to” cook?
Spending time with your friends and family is something I hope you “get to” do, rather than “have to” do. If you feel you “have to” spend time with them, I suspect your relationship needs some work so that you can create a space where you enjoy their company. Perhaps your personal boundaries aren’t being appropriately drawn or defended. There is possibly a personal development lesson in this relationship of obligation that could help you with other relationships.
I “have to” feed my animals on a regular schedule. However, if I can recognize that I “get to” spend quality time with them each day, caring for them and enjoying their company, it feels so much better.
“I’ve got to” or “I get to”. The choice is yours.