It is a New Year. A time of new beginnings. Perhaps it is not about goal setting and resolutions. Perhaps it is about moving Be-yond…
For the first time in six years I do not have a vision for 2019. My written visions were what I wished to manifest in the upcoming year. The only piece I have at this moment is that I will receive immense support and comfort by being with others. True friendship, true two sided relationships (giving and receiving) and mutuality sounds wonderful.
I am grateful BE-YOND measure for all the support I received from old and new friends and family as I healed. I did not know how to be on the receiving end. It felt awkward at times. I soon learned to embrace all that came our way. What was needed just showed up. A weeks worth of home cooked meals, visits at the Rehab hospital, calls, emails and texts. Support galore. It gave me wonderful things to focus on as I struggled to regain independence. I will never forget the pyramid encased in a beautiful healing crystal placed next to my bed from a friend in New Mexico or the pup playing in the yard brought to visit from a friend in Missouri. Many new friends have come into my life too that supported my spiritual Being.
After writing my last blog, I found out that I had turned myself inside out over this lifetime offering support to so many others. Support and Care Giving. I thought it was healing for them and for me. I now find it was being driven from a deep childhood wound- lack of financial, physical, emotional and Spiritual support. I freely gave out what I did not receive. What one values the most in life is also where one was the most deeply wounded.
Relationships are multidimensional. Someone else can’t give you what they do not have within themselves already. Look inside yourself- what you think is lacking or hidden or bull dozed over may be inside you. It is called higher consciousness. I have looked for support in all the wrong places. And it left me depleted. I gave and gave support- hoping that it would eventually make a difference and show the other people, clients, pets, horses and myself that we are of infinite value. Not in a material sense, but in the larger wholeness. Many have responded in positive ways. I do believe in paying it forward. If something I do touches you- then pay it forward. I believe Spirit takes care of me. Now that I am aware of this- I am willing to receive support in whatever way it manifests.
Relying on Spirit and less on myself was a strong lesson in 2018. That was not part of any written vision! Balance in everything was also a huge lesson. No where did I ask to manifest balance in 2018. Those are also good places to start in 2019.
I volunteered for so much in the past. I took on so many things. Because relationships were of value. Recently a friend pointed out that my authentic self waits for the invitation. Once aware of that, I started noticing invitations based on my authentic self. When invitations didn’t come- I often felt rejected in the past. How I negotiated life was somewhat out of balance.
I responded to two invitations in December. One was to an ugly sweater party. I wore a sweater with a stuffed unicorn attached to it, surrounded by sparkling garland. Below that was the word “Believe” in sequins. On Dec. 12th I attended a “Fairy Walk” ceremony in a beautiful sanctuary setting. I was awakened to a land of make believe and imagination, far removed from my usual seriousness. Magic did indeed show up that day! I provided edible Fairy Dust and tinkling bells to place on trees. We made an offering of chocolate to the Fairy realm. Just at sunset, as the magic portal shifted we were blessed with a spectacular display of nature. I could hear the delightful giggling of the Fairies! Why that sounds crazy, right? I am embracing my crazy and having fun! When was the last time you invited your inner child out to play? Business as usual gets boring!
Now I imagine what it is like to balance on the ever shifting spine of a dragon in flight. Is that a physical possibility? No. not really. It is however an imaginative or intuitive experience. It is a New Reality way of negotiating life. I recently met (through a meditative experience held in a Tee Pee) a very tall crystalline Being whose name was like a musical note. He was a member of the Tribe of Tribes. I felt like I had known him for a very long time- not in my physical form. I was joyous and climbed right up. He held me in long arms so that I could place my hands on his facial features. It was a joyous experience to merge with the heart and soul of this loving Being. These out of the “human form reality” experiences are priceless and healing. Vision, intuition and seeing through the eyes of Spirit with clarity and discernment coupled with high heart compassion and love is so much more expansive than the material world we live in. It is the bridge to higher consciousness and expansive dimensions! It is sensing the Beyond!
I could continue trudging through the sludge of limiting human form. I could continue living in my past reality of limitations. Or I can just let go with great relief.
If something does not resonate (match your vibrational energetic frequency) within you, then it likely doesn’t belong to you. Seek high frequency resonance and allow what does not resonate to fall away or dissolve. Focus your attention elsewhere.
So much unraveled in 2018. I am not interested in trying to knit it back together. Even more will dissolve or fall away. I release with gratitude. I have a new foundation. I am standing in a doorway with open arms ready to embrace opportunities and possibilities in 2019. I am creating space around decisions that have not been made yet. I want to embrace a new paradigm and create a shift… Living BE-YOND; freely, with enthusiasm, excitement, joy, fun, higher consciousness, inner peace and living with my soul shining outward from within.