BE-YOND

It is a New Year. A time of new beginnings. Perhaps it is not about goal setting and resolutions. Perhaps it is about moving Be-yond…

For the first time in six years I do not have a vision for 2019. My written visions were what I wished to manifest in the upcoming year. The only piece I have at this moment is that I will receive immense support and comfort by being with others. True friendship, true two sided relationships (giving and receiving) and mutuality sounds wonderful.

I am grateful BE-YOND measure for all the support I received from old and new friends and family as I healed. I did not know how to be on the receiving end. It felt awkward at times. I soon learned to embrace all that came our way. What was needed just showed up.  A weeks worth of home cooked meals, visits at the Rehab hospital, calls, emails and texts.  Support galore. It gave me wonderful things to focus on as I struggled to regain independence. I will never forget the pyramid encased in a beautiful healing crystal placed next to my bed from a friend in New Mexico or the pup playing in the yard brought to visit from a friend in Missouri. Many new friends have come into my life too that supported my spiritual Being.

After writing my last blog, I found out that I had turned myself inside out over this lifetime offering support to so many others. Support and Care Giving. I thought it was healing for them and for me. I now find it was being driven from a deep childhood wound- lack of financial, physical, emotional and Spiritual support. I freely gave out what I did not receive. What one values the most in life is also where one was the most deeply wounded.

Relationships are multidimensional. Someone else can’t give you what they do not have within themselves already. Look inside yourself- what you think is lacking or hidden or bull dozed over may be inside you. It is called higher consciousness. I have looked for support in all the wrong places. And it left me depleted. I gave and gave support- hoping that it would eventually make a difference and show the other people, clients, pets, horses and myself that we are of infinite value. Not in a material sense, but in the larger wholeness. Many have responded in positive ways. I do believe in paying it forward. If something I do touches you- then pay it forward. I believe Spirit takes care of me. Now that I am aware of this- I am willing to receive support in whatever way it manifests.

Relying on Spirit and less on myself was a strong lesson in 2018. That was not part of any written vision! Balance in everything was also a huge lesson. No where did I ask to manifest balance in 2018. Those are also good places to start in 2019.

I volunteered for so much in the past. I took on so many things. Because relationships were of value. Recently a friend pointed out that my authentic self waits for the invitation. Once aware of that, I started noticing invitations based on my authentic self. When invitations didn’t come- I often felt rejected in the past. How I negotiated life was somewhat out of balance.

I responded to two invitations in December. One was to an ugly sweater party. I wore a sweater with a stuffed unicorn attached to it, surrounded by sparkling garland. Below that was the word “Believe” in sequins. On Dec. 12^th I attended a “Fairy Walk” ceremony in a beautiful sanctuary setting. I was awakened to a land of make believe and imagination, far removed from my usual seriousness. Magic did indeed show up that day! I provided edible Fairy Dust and tinkling bells to place on trees. We made an offering of chocolate to the Fairy realm. Just at sunset, as the magic portal shifted we were blessed with a spectacular display of nature. I could hear the delightful giggling of the Fairies! Why that sounds crazy, right? I am embracing my crazy and having fun! When was the last time you invited your inner child out to play? Business as usual gets boring!

Now I imagine what it is like to balance on the ever shifting spine of a dragon in flight. Is that a physical possibility? No. not really. It is however an imaginative or intuitive experience. It is a New Reality way of negotiating life. I recently met (through a meditative experience held in a Tee Pee) a very tall crystalline Being whose name was like a musical note. He was a member of the Tribe of Tribes. I felt like I had known him for a very long time- not in my physical form. I was joyous and climbed right up. He held me in long arms so that I could place my hands on his facial features. It was a joyous experience to merge with the heart and soul of this loving Being. These out of the “human form reality” experiences are priceless and healing. Vision, intuition and seeing through the eyes of Spirit with clarity and discernment coupled with high heart compassion and love is so much more expansive than the material world we live in. It is the bridge to higher consciousness and expansive dimensions! It is sensing the Beyond!

I could continue trudging through the sludge of limiting human form. I could continue living in my past reality of limitations. Or I can just let go with great relief.

If something does not resonate (match your vibrational energetic frequency) within you, then it likely doesn’t belong to you. Seek high frequency resonance and allow what does not resonate to fall away or dissolve. Focus your attention elsewhere.

So much unraveled in 2018. I am not interested in trying to knit it back together. Even more will dissolve or fall away. I release with gratitude. I have a new foundation. I am standing in a doorway with open arms ready to embrace opportunities and possibilities in 2019. I am creating space around decisions that have not been made yet. I want to embrace a new paradigm and create a shift… Living BE-YOND; freely, with enthusiasm, excitement, joy, fun, higher consciousness, inner peace and living with my soul shining outward from within.

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Do You Belong?

Do you belong? Do you help others feel that they belong? What does that mean to you?

Last fall, I heard Dr. Erik Carter speak at events in High River and Calgary. His words were powerful, and his position is that there are ten dimensions to belonging. A pronouncement that “Everyone is welcome” is not enough. True inclusiveness and belonging requires much more.

Dr. Carter challenges us to ask the following questions about people with disabilities and their families. I think the concepts can be extended to anyone. Here are the ten increasing dimensions of belonging he puts forth. Are individuals:

1. Present
2. Invited – personally, not a global invitation
3. Welcomed
4. Known – as individuals
5. Accepted – beyond tolerated
6. Supported
7. Cared for
8. Befriended
9. Needed – we miss you when you’re not here
10. Loved

I invite you to consider the people in your life that seemed quite different from you when you first encountered them. I suspect that the more you got to know them, the further along this spectrum you progressed – and the more similarities you saw and the less the differences mattered.

When have you felt that you belonged? Where on this spectrum did you feel you sat? When have you invited others into your world? How far into your world? Where on this spectrum did that relationship sit?

I challenge you to think about this concept as the holiday season winds down.

Dr. Carter is Professor of Special Education at Vanderbilt, and his website can be found at https://www.erikwcarter.com/.

Expanding Gratitude

Written by BB Harding, one of the Women Moving It Forward

Shortly before Thanksgiving, I woke up one morning and had the thought “How would my life be different if I focused on wanting what I have rather than having what I want?”  Ok, my first thought was well, that doesn’t make sense.  What does a person use to “incentivize” themselves if they don’t have something that they want?  How does one better themselves if they are willing to stick with what they have?  What about those who really have a lousy life – how do they put that thought to work for themselves?

Every cloud has a silver lining.  How many times have you heard that?

I easily came to realize that “wanting what you have” is akin to “being grateful for what you have.”  It has been said that gratitude is one of the greatest things that you can have.  How many famous people have you heard talk about the power of gratitude?  How many have linked happiness to gratitude; success to gratitude; health to gratitude?  How many trainers and spiritual teachers espouse journaling each night before going to bed on 3-5 things for which you are grateful that day?

I took this thought with me throughout the days that followed.  I spent time reflecting on things in my life (what I have) and looking at the level of want for those things.  Since it was already there, it wasn’t something that I spent time wanting, in fact I gave very little thought about having it.  It just was.  And, it wasn’t anything where I was particularly appreciative for the fact that I did have it.  Again, it just was.

Another aspect was if I did have gratitude/appreciation how deep and wide was that feeling?  Here is what I mean by that.  One thing I totally love is a hot shower.  I nearly always thank the warm water as it courses over me for how good it feels; how nurtured I feel as it does so.  How much gratitude have I ever given to the infrastructure and people who have made running hot water in my home possible?  Going that one step further begins to expand the gratitude that I experience.

It can then become easy to slip into thinking about the breadth and depth in other areas.  How about food – am I grateful to the fruits, vegetables, meats, grains that end up on my plate?  How about the farmers/growers, transportation, markets, banks, appliances that have all played a hand in having food show up on my table for consumption?

I come to realize just how unconscious I have become to the things that have shown up in my life and how they got there.  All with very little appreciation for the “effort” that it took to get there.  At a higher level, very little appreciation for how I am able to energetically organize my world so that they are consistently there.  How often does a person honor themselves as a powerful being?  I know I seldom do.

My reflections on “having what I wanted” took me down the road of enquiring “who is it that wants” and “why is it that it is wanted?”  What need is wanting to be fulfilled?  Why is that need there?  An example might be “I want a cookie.”  The “why” I want a cookie might include things like I’m bored, I want a distraction; I want something sweet in my life; I feel like something is missing and want to fill it; I’m feeling frightened, and as a kid, having a cookie was a sign that “all was well.”  Another want might be a new flashy car.  The “why” might be because I want to feel the sense of freedom that comes from having the wind in my hair; I want to be the envy of all of my friends; I have something to prove; I am trying to create a sense of value in my peer group; I want to make an impression on people when they see me in my new car; I want to exude success, especially when underneath I’m not certain about whom I am.  I begin to determine that wanting things that I don’t have is more wrapped up around “lack consciousness” than “abundance consciousness” – I lack something – rather than I am filled with joy at having something.

In my Human Design studies, Karen (Curry Parker) has shared that part of the manifestation process is to be signaling the universe that “this feels good, more please.”  This then allows the magnetic monopole to attract those types of experiences to me.  If I don’t like what is going on, then I can “tweak the request.”

I am seeing more and more, that to appreciate what I have, to expand my level of gratitude can be a life altering event not only for me, as an individual, it can set a new frequency for the community and planet.  Being fully engaged with what is present.  Bringing all that is present into harmony.

I went searching for a few quotes and here are three I want to share.  Each has an aspect of my own conclusions for “wanting what I have rather than focusing on having what I want.”

Oprah Winfrey:  Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.

Robert Holden:  The real gift of gratitude is that the more grateful you are, the more present you become.

Kristin Armstrong:  When we focus on our gratitude, the tide of disappointment goes out and the tide of love rushes in.

In this season, I invite you to find the things in your life that you are grateful for, and then be grateful for all that has been organized in the universe to bring it to you.

 

What or Who?

Tags

balance, Centered, change, passion, Self-Care

Posted by Ashara Morris, one of the Women Moving It Forward on this Blog.

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Our society today takes great pride in, and raises up, those who do, do, do. If you’re not doing, you’re not producing, therefore if you’re just “being” you will be passed over or ignored or even denigrated.

I’ve noticed this when meeting people for the first time, and I’m guilty of it as well – we ask “What do you do?” We want to know about what this person does in our workaday world, not necessarily who they are. But which might be the more important question?

What do you do?

or

Who are you?

Photo by Snapwire on Pexels.com

I am fascinated by people, by how they think, how they feel, the opinions they carry. They are a constant source of revelation to me, not only about them, but about myself. If I ask someone “what do you do?” they’re going to tell me about their job, and that’s fine, because certainly it’s part of who they are, and if they love their work, that will be a good indicator of who they might be. But the question “Who are you?” is much more interesting to me. And, I think, also scary for the person being asked.

We live with a lot of masks in place. Even the most authentic person has to sometimes remove the “I’m being authentic” mask to be who they REALLY are. It’s an amazing dance. So we have to learn about people in kind of a sideways fashion – mostly by starting with “What do you do?”

I’m sure those of you reading this know what you do. But who are you? Are you sensitive? Are you afraid of the dark? (I always leave a light on when I’m home alone over night, even though we have four dogs to help me stay safe.) Do you think everyone is out to get you? Or maybe just a few people? Do we live in a friendly or unfriendly world? How do you relax? Do you like to read? Do you draw? Do you enjoy just sitting?

Photo by Ary Shutter on Pexels.com

Favorite TV show? What did you think of school? Did you enjoy it? Or was it painful? And why? What was enjoyable or painful?

Those are just a few of the questions that go through my mind when I’m getting to know someone, and even when talking with old friends, because friendship doesn’t happen in one fell swoop – it is a matter of years, and layers, and the unveiling of some new aspect of a friend is like a gift wrapped in shiny paper and topped off with a beautiful bow – how amazing we all are!

If you want to know more about me, ask me – who are you? And I will tell you. Be prepared though, because I will ask the same of you. I don’t need to know about your job – who are YOU?

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Ashara Morris is sensitive, intuitive, and laughs a lot. The glass is generally half full. She talks with animals, plants, rocks, her car quite a bit, and sometimes even her favorite green chair. You can find out more about what she DOES at www.harmonysheartcoaching.com and www.harmonysheartanimals.com.

 

 

Stella and Me

Posted by BB Harding, member Women Move It Forward blog.

If you have been reading this blog for a while, you are already aware that I have been looking for a house for approximately 18 months.  I have seen many houses in person (around 70) and countless pictures from the real estate websites.  I have searched New Mexico in Las Vegas, Pecos, Santa Fe, Tijeras, Edgewood, Cedar Crest, Sandia Park, Moriarty, Placitas, Rio Rancho, Los Lunas, Belen, Nogal, Alto, Ruidoso, Tularosa, Alamogordo, and Las Cruces.  (I’m sure I forgot some city or town in that list).  Truthfully, there probably wasn’t much of anywhere that I drove through that I didn’t keep an eye out for something to grab me.

I can say that my house hunting was an adventure, and most definitely a journey.  I started out with a list of items that I thought I wanted, and as I looked at possible locations, the parameters got fine-tuned.  There were some peak learning experiences – I discovered that each episode of looking at houses informed me about what it was that I really wanted.  Learning to allow that to be a learning and discovery experience was significant.  It gave me permission to explore until I found something that I REALLY liked rather than the pressure to “get ‘er done.”  I found I appreciated trees much more than the long view.  That if I had space for my own bedroom, an office and a guest bedroom, I could live with a 2 bedroom and 2 living areas as opposed to a 3 bedroom.  I really needed some space around me.  Places that met the criteria, where I felt like I was being smothered didn’t feel good.

I really discovered that it was ok to be who I was.  I worked with 7 agents throughout the state, and I made it ok to be “weird.”  Just because a house met the criteria didn’t mean that I was going to buy it.  Rule #1, it must feel good inside and outside.  There were several houses that felt good inside, not so good outside; or great outside, not so good inside.  I had many a thought about moving House A onto Property B for the perfect match.  The agents learned that I was really serious about Rule #1.  I know that they shook their heads when I told them things like “the energy is flat;” the house and I don’t gel;” “nice house, I really like it, and it doesn’t feel right.”

A part of me was beginning to despair over ever finding a new home.  Maybe I was too picky, maybe I wasn’t being realistic and should just go for most of what I wanted.  I felt the pressure of having to compromise, settle for less than I wanted; and making a decision to buy anything just to get it off my list of things to do, and move on.

Earlier this year, I drove into an area that was not all that far from where I live to check out a couple of listings that I had seen.  When I drove into the area, I said to myself, “oh, this place has the look and feel of what I am looking for.”  I of course then dismissed it because it didn’t fit the criteria of being near an airport, medical facilities and something like a Whole Foods / Sprouts.

My friend who had rented me her casita sold her house (really traded with some friends) and the new owners were gracious enough to allow me to continue renting the casita.  That was an incredible gift because it relieved the pressure that “I must go do something now.”  We had gone out to breakfast one morning with her housemate, and on the way home, I took them through the area.  Both of them exclaimed how incredible the energy of that area was.  It was near the 4^th of July, so in my normal search for houses I added a query for that area.  Four houses came up to go look at.  I found a realtor, and made arrangements to go look at them right after the holiday.  “Stella” had grabbed my attention because she matched a “vision” that I had had towards the end of last year of a house on the edge of a cliff, acting as a sentinel for the area.  I have operated for several months with the underlying premise of there was a house looking for me as much as I was looking for it.  We just had to find each other.  She was also “out of budget.”  I checked out the 4 houses, and there was an event taking place at Stella where the current owners were having an estate sale.  (They are antiquers).  I was gobsmacked with the view, and went through the house.  Generally, a good feeling.

I had a conversation with the house.  I told the house that it would be really hard for me to get past the incredible view that it had, and really hear what it had to say.  Found out her name was Stella, and that yes, she would be happy if I were to become her new custodian.  I shared my reservations and her wisdom was to come back again when everyone was gone and see if I felt good there or not.  I did that, and yes, I felt good inside and outside.  Beside a lovely view, an awesome deck, she also has a bunch of Russian sage and it is beautiful.  I sat with Stella and the idea of putting in a purchase contract for a couple more days.  Everything still felt like a go, and I was beginning to develop a relationship with Stella that felt easy and comfortable.

I took the leap of faith and put in the contract.  It was accepted with one counteroffer.  Since then, there has been a lot of fun.  There are several things that I have become aware of, some of them almost beyond words.  I am keenly aware that I have said YES to me at a deep level, in many little ways.  One of them is acknowledging that I have a space imperative.  For most of my lifetime, I have pushed it aside, and told myself not to be silly, it wasn’t a necessity to live.  I will now be surrounded by space.  I have made a conscious effort to make the purchase a collaboration between the consciousness of Stella and myself.  I am moving more and more into an aspect of my purpose which is to teach others that there is consciousness in all things.  What better way to live that, than to include Stella into the conversation about becoming her custodian and how she would like to be used.  (Her desire is to be a place for people to come and heal because it is energetically enticing to do so.  This would include people working with me on an intensive level for a week.  Now all we have to do is convince an insurance company to agree with that. 😊).   Last week I was at the house with my real estate agent, and told her that the name of the house was Stella.  She looked at me, and I said, “well, I talk to things.”  As we were leaving I gushed, “can’t you just feel the love that is here?”  Her response was that “she wouldn’t have put it that way, however, now that I asked her, yes, she could feel it.  It was very warm and inviting.”

As the closing date gets closer, I feel her energy working with me more and more.  I received an email from a friend that I have not seen in many years. She would like to come visit and hangout. I am not only very excited that she will do so, I was also very clear that was Stella at work.  I will learn to trust that, and to lean into that.  To honor that her energy will pull in the people that need to be here.  I expect a few friends will want to come by over the next year, and they will find it a respite for their soul.

One other thing that I would like to share about this journey so far.  Last Wednesday I had to drive to Roswell for an eye appointment.  There is a section of highway on Hwy 70 that I really like, and at this time of year, after the many rains, it is beautiful.  My heart was feeling incredibly expansive, and I had the thought that I had to fall in love with Stella in order to fall in love with NM.  Until now, I have frequently said “really Universe, NM???”  I didn’t get it.

I am eager to see where the next leg of my journey will take me.  How Stella and I will co-create a life together, and where will it take us.  Stay tuned.

Stellar Jay

Written by Carroll a member of Women Move It Forward

Recently the universe answered my request for a business partnership of some sort. This request and prayer is one I have been breathing for about 8 months and for several months Ant Spirit Guide has been sending the message of teamwork. Don’t go pushing all alone.

The day we scheduled our first “business” meeting I was presented with a beautiful fluffy and brilliant blue Stellar Jay feather. I looked up the meaning and the message hit home!

Shamanic Journey (some excerpts)

Website Link

Jay’s gifts include understanding how to use power wisely, warning, courage, ability to check on future trouble spots, power of presence (being in the eternal now), fearlessness, resourcefulness, adaptability.

Jay’s show us how to use personal power correctly and effectively, reminding us to pay attention and to not allow ourselves to be put in a situation where power is misused against us. If this is your power animal, bear this in mind.

The bright blue crest atop the blue jays head, connects it to the sky, reminding you true power must be applied in a balanced and honorable fashion. Jays are tremendously resourceful, which may symbolize a need inside of you to learn adaptability for survival with less effort possible.

Jays symbolize huge talent, however, this talent must be developed and used correctly. If jay has flown into your life, this may be a signal that you are coming into a time where you can begin to help the inherent wisdom that lies within you (within us all!) to mature.

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I have been receiving the message to take risks and step into my power and it looks like I have a spirit guide now…

Are you looking to step more fully into your power? If so, call on Blue Jay to help and guide you.

Unexpected Variables

Life in physical form is full of unexpected variables. Perhaps there is a silver lining in the clouds, or a gift inside major illness or life transition.  Perhaps crisis and chaos really are the pathways to potential, possibilities and opportunities.  Make lemonade out of lemons is the old adage.  The glass IS really half full, not half empty.  All is as it is supposed to be.  Let’s not oversimplify the process though!

A friend from out of state was visiting recently, and we went on a hike into Castlewood Canyon. My husband helped to guide us across large boulders and the river to my favorite place in the canyon where the water cascades and creates small waterfalls.  In preparation, I purchased a walking stick a couple of days before.  I have been experiencing balance issues.  My husband took a “fall for me” into the rocks and water to get me to the right spot.  He got scraped a little.  My friend and I did a blessing ceremony of “rebirth” for a mutual friend with serious physical ailments.  I released prayers and sacred herbs into the water.  The words that Spirit gave to me to use in the blessing that day for the ailing friend were Acceptance, Adapt and Release.  Out of a higher heart of compassion, I do what I can- but then I turn the rest over to Spirit to handle the unexpected variables.

For me it has been another year of constant shifting. I have been learning that things are not always as traumatic as they may seem.  If you can shift to the acceptance part, you may begin to see how to adapt to these unexpected variable situations.  This part is easier said than done.  Likely there is some internal struggle.  The release part which may include anger, loss and tears, can actually allow something else to come in. A shift in awareness may begin to fill that emptied space.  Perhaps it is a question of timing, prioritizing, soul searching, managing, clearing out what no longer serves you, checking back in with your values.  In my lowest moments, I have had to re-evaluate all that I hold dear.

As an example, Bailey the Master Healer energy worker horse survived displacement colic last November. It was painful to watch her struggle and go down.  Because she is basically a wild horse, never stalled, colic surgery was out of the question.  The Vet did all she could do, then we waited.  I also did all I knew how to do.  I went into shock feeling her distress.  Somewhere around 2:00 in the morning, I had to move into acceptance, turning the outcome over to spirit and thinking about what life might be like without Bailey.  I grieved.  I was cold to the bones in the barn, and went inside to warm myself.  An hour later I went back out to check on her.  She nickered at me and asked if I was going to feed her!  Well, no, I couldn’t.  She had passed enormous amounts of gas, and passed tiny amounts of very hard stool, but she was not out of the woods.  Those things helped her colon to return to its proper place.  She remained on sloppy senior equine for a week and lost weight.  She is still with us.  I had to “release” her before she actually turned the corner. Huh.

That was only the first part of the equation. I have had many horse health issues to deal with the past few months. Perhaps they have all been displaying what was coming for me.  They taught me lessons that would become valuable.  My husband and I are aging.  I have more health issues than he does.  However, aging changes are sneaky.  Your body changes and doesn’t always support you as it once did. These are unexpected variables.

I was having what I thought were shoulder issues. It was a shock when x-rays and an MRI showed that my cervical spine in my neck had deteriorated and was causing nerve damage.  (Like I was 82, not 62)! It is not exactly life threatening, but somewhat painful, uncomfortable and annoying.  There is weakness in my left arm and pain across the nerve in my shoulder.  Interrupted spinal fluid in my head causes pressure and dizziness.  I am physically off balance.  I am tired from only being able to sleep on my right side.  I have disc deterioration, bone spurs, calcification and a vertebrae lying on my spinal cord.  It could severe my spinal cord if I were rear ended, had a bad fall or came off a horse. I am a very private person.  I don’t like medical treatment or medications. I can reveal however that it really upset my apple cart.  I felt like I ran directly into the old age wall.

It has taken me months to practice acceptance, adapting and release. I have had to release many things and practice the guidance I have shared above.  I have seen a Shaman and other alternative spiritual treatments to get to the root of the issue.  I have an integrative Doctor, with the same cervical spine issues who carefully sent me to specialists.  I have had 3 spinal injections of steroids to reduce the inflammation, and create space for my damaged nerve.  I am seeing a conservative neurosurgeon later this month.

So much has been revealed to me during this process. On a spiritual level, it seems that my higher heart during this lifetime has been broken and manifested this brokenness on a physical level.  I carry such a high level of compassion/ coupled with guilt and the feeling of failure because I can’t always accomplish what is placed before me.  It pains me to witness the suffering of humanity.  My daughter calls it compassion fatigue.

You see we have a life purpose, but we also have a soul purpose. One of my spiritual healing friends placed me in a portal next to a gently flowing river, and her guides had me go back to before I manifested here to see where the misalignment occurred.  Her guides told her I had the innate ability to unwind that DNA (human and energetic imprint) and change it myself.  Sounds crazy, right?  We manifest into the physical to experience these unexpected variables.  So, in essence, I am now expanding, repairing my broken higher heart and traveling through higher consciousness in the upper eight through 12 and beyond energy centers (chakras), looking for the answers or remembering what I am to learn here as a higher healing Being, my souls journey.  I was aided to strip away a blockage created in my physical body or shell.  Accepting, adapting and releasing created shifts and awareness in my spiritual being.  Our spiritual journey is expansive- with no limitations. Phew.  What a powerful journey.

Bird’s Eye View

Tags

nature

Flying recently to California, we paralleled Interstate 70, which I travel frequently by car. It was a magnificent day for flying; clear, calm, the landscape below crisp and clear. I recognized landmarks all along the route – there was Loveland ski area, and the huge mountains under which the Eisenhower tunnel runs- how did the engineers even figure that out? From the ground, Glenwood Canyon is beautiful, and I recall the massive effort to maintain its beauty while still allowing a four lane (stacked) freeway. How did the engineers figure THAT out? Glenwood Springs, and the road leading to Aspen. Onward to the canyon outside Palisade and Grand Junction and on into southern Utah.

Green River is the gateway to the most magnificent stretch of I-70 imaginable, at least to me. From the air, the change in landscape shows a fault line, one plate pushing up onto another. Is it ancient, and no longer doing any moving, or is there still some adjustment going on? It’s a crescent on the ground, and I-70 crests it and moves on. On the other side, Ridgefield Utah is an oasis in the landscape. A few minutes further on and I-15 from Salt Lake City intersects and drops south toward Las Vegas. I-70’s journey is complete. We continue northwest toward San Francisco, into new territory for my eyes.

It was a privilege to have a bird’s eye view of a frequently traveled ground route. I have a new appreciation for the many ecosystems I cross in the 12 hour journey from home to my work at Horsefeathers Farm in Las Vegas. The Colorado mountains hold a particular appeal, and even though I’m not all that fond of the cold, I can see our business flourishing there – a destination for the weary, the troubled, a place to come and breathe in fresh air, hang with the horses and other animals, and find equilibrium and peace. The destination we have now, near Elizabeth, is also wonderful. Perhaps two locations at some point?

What a gift we’ve been given in this world. I am amazed and grateful every day. The next time you take a trip by air, see if you can get a window seat, and let yourself be transported into the cosmos surrounding our beautiful planet. I can guarantee you’ll feel the Love of the Creator cradling you in its arms, and you will be comforted.

Drama Queen Caretaking

Posted by BB Harding, member Women Move It Forward blog.

It is my turn to post, and I’ve had a couple of topics in the back of my head for a few weeks.  Neither one seem like they would be very long, and they really aren’t related.  So, I wonder how can I have fun with this?

The first topic was around caring for the caretaker (i.e., me).  The second, learning to interject a bit of Drama Queen into my fairly calm, quiet, steady demeanor.  OK, I’m sure you see that they really aren’t related topics.  So, let’s keep them apart for a moment and explain why these two even come up.

At the beginning of May, I was helping a friend move.  During the move, she fell off a step stool, and fractured her tibia in three places.  (For you medically-minded/curious individuals, it was a Schatzker IV fracture, typically seen in auto and motorcycle accidents.)  This resulted in 3 hospitals and 8 hour ambulance ride before admittance; 2 surgeries; and 3 weeks in the hospital and rehab center approximately 3 hours from home.  In early June, her house-mate went on a pre-planned vacation, and I stepped forward to do the home care.  I had enough sense to reduce my calendar of activities to just those that really required my involvement.  It turned out that with the heat and strenuous, very attentive activity, even that was a bit much.  I was glad to see the bed each evening, and feel the breeze from the fan.

Now, for part two.  I’ve been taking a class on working with the Shadow aspects of self.  We are encouraged to find the methods of expression that we don’t identify with or resist and then interject a small dose of that into our lives.  The intention is to provide breadth to our ability to express ourselves.  Even the most heinous of behaviors have some positive traits to them, if we allow ourselves to open to them.  (This is not to say that one should adopt those behaviors).  So, I was looking at my atrophied, nearly non-existent Drama Queen.  She was definitely not encouraged to come out and play during my childhood, or even adulthood.

Unknown Author; licensed under CCBY

And now, my caretaking experience, through the perspective of my emerging Drama Queen.

Well, HERE I AM!!!!  Oh, wait, let me see that NASTY KNEE.  OMG!!!  It looks like the size of a softball, no maybe a basketball, no maybe a small planet.  I think Pluto is a small planet.  It must HURT like HELL!  I hope they have given you really big horse-pill tranquilizers to knock you out.  What?!?!  You want to GET OFF drugs?!  YOU MUST BE NUTS!!!  

Oh, you’d like some ICE BOTTLES in your machine??!!  Sure, I can do that.  OMG, these ice bottles are COLD.  I need friggin’ GLOVES to carry them around.  I’m sure I’ll get FREEZER BURN they are so cold.  That ice bucket is really WET – maybe I should shrink myself and then I could make it a POOL and COOL OFF!!!

Help with your SHOWER?!  OMG, do you think I’m a NURSE OR SOMETHING?  I DON’T KNOW HOW to do that.  Well, maybe I should just crawl in with you and COOL MYSELF OFF.  Why in the hell didn’t you buy a house with AIR-CONDITIONING?  You KNOW how HOT it can get at this time of the year.  You’d think I was IN HELL ALREADY since it is so hot OUTSIDE – well INSIDE too.  I’m probably going to DIE!!!

FOOD? COOK DINNER??!!!  Well one thing is for sure, I could probably lay things out on the counter and they would COOK THEMSELVES since it is so BLOODY HOT in here.  I CAN’T IMAGINE turning on the flame and adding to the heat.  I need a HUGE FAN in here as it is.

GO DOWN THE RAMP IN YOUR WHEELCHAIR!?!?  OMG, it is SOOOO NARROW.  What if I FELL OFF of IT????  I’ll just CLOSE MY EYES so I don’t have to LOOK – oh WAIT, I CAN’T DO THAT!!!!!  I’ll just have to take some DEEP BREATHS and CALM MYSELF FIRST.  OMG, OMG!!! I’M SURE something will happen and then it will be ALL MY FAULT.  I SHOULDN’T BE ASKED to do something as risky as this.

OMG!!!!  I can’t believe what a DAY I HAVE HAD!!!!  So OVER the TOP with fright, heat and CRAZINESS.  WHAT the HELL was I THINKING when I said YES to THIS!!!???? 

Now, returning to my calm, quiet, fairly steady demeanor – all went well, and the patient is steadily recovering, in fact she will begin to put some weight on her leg in a couple of weeks.  It wasn’t nearly as dramatic as the Drama Queen would lead us to think.  Pretty “dull and boring” in comparison.  😊

Friendships

“He who returns from a journey is not the same as he who left”.

Summer has come to end. The heat and rain of 2018 will be long remembered, but most memorable will be my 2680 mile road trip. As I mentioned in my previous blog I did not go to any exotic location. My trip was charted by destiny. It started with me placing pins on a map of where old friends, horses I knew and relatives still lived throughout the eastern US. It also included seeing old homes, special roads or views that I loved.  I learned that my bones take a bit longer to straighten out after being in a car for any length of time, but my eyes were just as bright exploring new roads and re-experiencing old trails.

The last part of my trip took me to SW Pennsylvania. The scenery; hills of green, winding rivers and forest so lush and thick they were intoxicating, brought me back home.   I visited my old work place and got caught up with my co-harts.  I rode horses down familiar trails and even went to visit my old homestead(s). It was nostalgic and a bit sad, but clearly evident to me that the home and land was no longer part of whom I was.

But one thing, above all stood out to me on this trip. One evening my girlfriend got all the other ladies together that I knew.  When I lived there I was part of a monthly “horsey girl night out” where we shared stories about our horses, training we learned about or brought a video or two to discuss. I loved this group of women but really didn’t imagine I’d be able to see so many of them during my stay. When I walked in, I briefly looked around and took note of their changes and then there I was. Again, smack in the middle of stories, laughter, crying and hugs. I had to pinch myself to remind myself that I was no longer a regular part of this group.

What made this group just like going home to family? I quickly realized that it was not necessarily the monthly get togethers that bonded us, but really quite more.  We all had been there for each other through snow storms, loss of electricity, helped each other with sick or injured horses, rode the hills together, vacationed with our horses together, lifted each one up when a job was lost, a child became sick or a family memeber died.  We loved each other just as much for our faults and as our virtues. We had seen the worse of each other, the quirky sides and even the best from time to time. Is this what binds a family, a group, a village or nation I mused about during those 2 1/2 weeks on the road?

For me, growing up in a military family and moving often, I used to believe that the wonderful places I experienced overshadowed the many, many friendships I made. I was wrong. Here was a group of strong, independent women that became my family for only 12 years and yet when we met again after 5 years, we were as connected as ever! Most other people, I suspect know and understand the value of friendship and may not even questioned or think much about it. But for me the profound ability to reconnect and not be the one looking from the outside in (as was my regular pattern) was amazing and something I will cherish always.

To friendship!

Barbara is the owner and president of Wayfinding with Horses, Inc.  She is trained in the Equine Gestalt Coaching Method, a retired Professional Engineer and Qi Gong Instructor but mostly she is a woman passionate about horses, their wellbeing and their gift of being present. The horses help her clients to trust their true nature and lead from the heart.  Clients often report a heightened awareness of their surroundings and others while experiencing a deeper, more profound understanding of their relationships and connection to others.  Barbara lives at Wayfinding Farm, located near Ocala Florida.