Posted by BB Harding, member Women Move It Forward blog.
If you have been reading this blog for a while, you are already aware that I have been looking for a house for approximately 18 months. I have seen many houses in person (around 70) and countless pictures from the real estate websites. I have searched New Mexico in Las Vegas, Pecos, Santa Fe, Tijeras, Edgewood, Cedar Crest, Sandia Park, Moriarty, Placitas, Rio Rancho, Los Lunas, Belen, Nogal, Alto, Ruidoso, Tularosa, Alamogordo, and Las Cruces. (I’m sure I forgot some city or town in that list). Truthfully, there probably wasn’t much of anywhere that I drove through that I didn’t keep an eye out for something to grab me.
I can say that my house hunting was an adventure, and most definitely a journey. I started out with a list of items that I thought I wanted, and as I looked at possible locations, the parameters got fine-tuned. There were some peak learning experiences – I discovered that each episode of looking at houses informed me about what it was that I really wanted. Learning to allow that to be a learning and discovery experience was significant. It gave me permission to explore until I found something that I REALLY liked rather than the pressure to “get ‘er done.” I found I appreciated trees much more than the long view. That if I had space for my own bedroom, an office and a guest bedroom, I could live with a 2 bedroom and 2 living areas as opposed to a 3 bedroom. I really needed some space around me. Places that met the criteria, where I felt like I was being smothered didn’t feel good.
I really discovered that it was ok to be who I was. I worked with 7 agents throughout the state, and I made it ok to be “weird.” Just because a house met the criteria didn’t mean that I was going to buy it. Rule #1, it must feel good inside and outside. There were several houses that felt good inside, not so good outside; or great outside, not so good inside. I had many a thought about moving House A onto Property B for the perfect match. The agents learned that I was really serious about Rule #1. I know that they shook their heads when I told them things like “the energy is flat;” the house and I don’t gel;” “nice house, I really like it, and it doesn’t feel right.”
A part of me was beginning to despair over ever finding a new home. Maybe I was too picky, maybe I wasn’t being realistic and should just go for most of what I wanted. I felt the pressure of having to compromise, settle for less than I wanted; and making a decision to buy anything just to get it off my list of things to do, and move on.
Earlier this year, I drove into an area that was not all that far from where I live to check out a couple of listings that I had seen. When I drove into the area, I said to myself, “oh, this place has the look and feel of what I am looking for.” I of course then dismissed it because it didn’t fit the criteria of being near an airport, medical facilities and something like a Whole Foods / Sprouts.
My friend who had rented me her casita sold her house (really traded with some friends) and the new owners were gracious enough to allow me to continue renting the casita. That was an incredible gift because it relieved the pressure that “I must go do something now.” We had gone out to breakfast one morning with her housemate, and on the way home, I took them through the area. Both of them exclaimed how incredible the energy of that area was. It was near the 4th of July, so in my normal search for houses I added a query for that area. Four houses came up to go look at. I found a realtor, and made arrangements to go look at them right after the holiday. “Stella” had grabbed my attention because she matched a “vision” that I had had towards the end of last year of a house on the edge of a cliff, acting as a sentinel for the area. I have operated for several months with the underlying premise of there was a house looking for me as much as I was looking for it. We just had to find each other. She was also “out of budget.” I checked out the 4 houses, and there was an event taking place at Stella where the current owners were having an estate sale. (They are antiquers). I was gobsmacked with the view, and went through the house. Generally, a good feeling.
I had a conversation with the house. I told the house that it would be really hard for me to get past the incredible view that it had, and really hear what it had to say. Found out her name was Stella, and that yes, she would be happy if I were to become her new custodian. I shared my reservations and her wisdom was to come back again when everyone was gone and see if I felt good there or not. I did that, and yes, I felt good inside and outside. Beside a lovely view, an awesome deck, she also has a bunch of Russian sage and it is beautiful. I sat with Stella and the idea of putting in a purchase contract for a couple more days. Everything still felt like a go, and I was beginning to develop a relationship with Stella that felt easy and comfortable.
I took the leap of faith and put in the contract. It was accepted with one counteroffer. Since then, there has been a lot of fun. There are several things that I have become aware of, some of them almost beyond words. I am keenly aware that I have said YES to me at a deep level, in many little ways. One of them is acknowledging that I have a space imperative. For most of my lifetime, I have pushed it aside, and told myself not to be silly, it wasn’t a necessity to live. I will now be surrounded by space. I have made a conscious effort to make the purchase a collaboration between the consciousness of Stella and myself. I am moving more and more into an aspect of my purpose which is to teach others that there is consciousness in all things. What better way to live that, than to include Stella into the conversation about becoming her custodian and how she would like to be used. (Her desire is to be a place for people to come and heal because it is energetically enticing to do so. This would include people working with me on an intensive level for a week. Now all we have to do is convince an insurance company to agree with that. 😊). Last week I was at the house with my real estate agent, and told her that the name of the house was Stella. She looked at me, and I said, “well, I talk to things.” As we were leaving I gushed, “can’t you just feel the love that is here?” Her response was that “she wouldn’t have put it that way, however, now that I asked her, yes, she could feel it. It was very warm and inviting.”
As the closing date gets closer, I feel her energy working with me more and more. I received an email from a friend that I have not seen in many years. She would like to come visit and hangout. I am not only very excited that she will do so, I was also very clear that was Stella at work. I will learn to trust that, and to lean into that. To honor that her energy will pull in the people that need to be here. I expect a few friends will want to come by over the next year, and they will find it a respite for their soul.
One other thing that I would like to share about this journey so far. Last Wednesday I had to drive to Roswell for an eye appointment. There is a section of highway on Hwy 70 that I really like, and at this time of year, after the many rains, it is beautiful. My heart was feeling incredibly expansive, and I had the thought that I had to fall in love with Stella in order to fall in love with NM. Until now, I have frequently said “really Universe, NM???” I didn’t get it.
I am eager to see where the next leg of my journey will take me. How Stella and I will co-create a life together, and where will it take us. Stay tuned.