Posted by Ashara Morris, one of the Women Moving It Forward on this Blog.
Our society today takes great pride in, and raises up, those who do, do, do. If you’re not doing, you’re not producing, therefore if you’re just “being” you will be passed over or ignored or even denigrated.
I’ve noticed this when meeting people for the first time, and I’m guilty of it as well – we ask “What do you do?” We want to know about what this person does in our workaday world, not necessarily who they are. But which might be the more important question?
What do you do?
Who are you?
I am fascinated by people, by how they think, how they feel, the opinions they carry. They are a constant source of revelation to me, not only about them, but about myself. If I ask someone “what do you do?” they’re going to tell me about their job, and that’s fine, because certainly it’s part of who they are, and if they love their work, that will be a good indicator of who they might be. But the question “Who are you?” is much more interesting to me. And, I think, also scary for the person being asked.
We live with a lot of masks in place. Even the most authentic person has to sometimes remove the “I’m being authentic” mask to be who they REALLY are. It’s an amazing dance. So we have to learn about people in kind of a sideways fashion – mostly by starting with “What do you do?”
I’m sure those of you reading this know what you do. But who are you? Are you sensitive? Are you afraid of the dark? (I always leave a light on when I’m home alone over night, even though we have four dogs to help me stay safe.) Do you think everyone is out to get you? Or maybe just a few people? Do we live in a friendly or unfriendly world? How do you relax? Do you like to read? Do you draw? Do you enjoy just sitting?
Favorite TV show? What did you think of school? Did you enjoy it? Or was it painful? And why? What was enjoyable or painful?
Those are just a few of the questions that go through my mind when I’m getting to know someone, and even when talking with old friends, because friendship doesn’t happen in one fell swoop – it is a matter of years, and layers, and the unveiling of some new aspect of a friend is like a gift wrapped in shiny paper and topped off with a beautiful bow – how amazing we all are!
If you want to know more about me, ask me – who are you? And I will tell you. Be prepared though, because I will ask the same of you. I don’t need to know about your job – who are YOU?
Ashara Morris is sensitive, intuitive, and laughs a lot. The glass is generally half full. She talks with animals, plants, rocks, her car quite a bit, and sometimes even her favorite green chair. You can find out more about what she DOES at www.harmonysheartcoaching.com and www.harmonysheartanimals.com.