Giving Common Thanks

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Written by Carroll a member of Women Move it Forward Blog

I do my best to feel gratitude at all times. Thanksgiving is special here because it focuses on the feel of gratitude. This year we had a great feast and company on Thanksgiving. And we focused on how wonderful the food tasted; how easy it was to cook, and all the great friendships we have including the spirits in the Tribe of Tribes on the property.

In the middle of Black Friday night I experienced a whole new level of giving thanks. How many things are taken for granted day-to-day, moment-to-moment? The things that make our life quality. Around 10:30 at night a loud beep woke my husband and I. It was the carbon monoxide detector come on and off a couple of times. The electricity to the entire house flickered and then went off leaving us in complete darkness.

We did the usual things – check to see if the neighbor’s lights were off (indicating it was a widespread outage not just something at our house), get a flashlight, and go to set up the generator.

OUCH, we realized that our generator was out in the barn. When I looked outside it was a white-out blizzard. And I admit my emotions dipped. The thought of bundling up for 15-degree weather, going outside, getting in the car, driving to the barn, opening gates which are probably frozen from ice, lifting the generator into the car, bringing it back and setting it up on the porch with all the snow and wind just did not sound like a good time.

And then my husband said “Let’s wait and see if they get it back on” and I agreed to wait for an hour. My 94-year-old grandmother lives with us and would not fare well if the house became cold. So we waited, half hour later the electricity flashed on for second and then went off again.

At that point I really focused on giving thanks for the person who was troubleshooting this issue where ever they maybe. And I started focusing on finding the benefit of this event! I truly enjoyed the darkness, and the lack of any kind of radio waves from all the devices which are “necessary” nowadays. I enjoyed being cozy under a big blanket. I gave thanks for the person who was in the process of returning electricity to us.

That electricity supplies not only our heat and our light but also our water from the well. All the things taken for granted just in the course of the day.

At 55 minutes after the electricity went out, it came back on. Gratitude for listening to my husband! The relief and gratitude of not having to go to the barn was immense. The gratitude for those people working at the electric power plant or on the line was very deeply heartfelt. And as we started the pellet stove, gratitude for heat, light and comfort was almost overwhelming.

How often do you give gratitude for electricity, water and sewer?

I am reminded of the saying “big things are made out of lots of little things…” I invite you look around you every day with gratitude for the little things like a functioning outlet or faucet…

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Stellar Jay

Written by Carroll a member of Women Move It Forward

Recently the universe answered my request for a business partnership of some sort. This request and prayer is one I have been breathing for about 8 months and for several months Ant Spirit Guide has been sending the message of teamwork. Don’t go pushing all alone.

The day we scheduled our first “business” meeting I was presented with a beautiful fluffy and brilliant blue Stellar Jay feather. I looked up the meaning and the message hit home!

Shamanic Journey (some excerpts)

Website Link

Jay’s gifts include understanding how to use power wisely, warning, courage, ability to check on future trouble spots, power of presence (being in the eternal now), fearlessness, resourcefulness, adaptability.

Jay’s show us how to use personal power correctly and effectively, reminding us to pay attention and to not allow ourselves to be put in a situation where power is misused against us. If this is your power animal, bear this in mind.

The bright blue crest atop the blue jays head, connects it to the sky, reminding you true power must be applied in a balanced and honorable fashion. Jays are tremendously resourceful, which may symbolize a need inside of you to learn adaptability for survival with less effort possible.

Jays symbolize huge talent, however, this talent must be developed and used correctly. If jay has flown into your life, this may be a signal that you are coming into a time where you can begin to help the inherent wisdom that lies within you (within us all!) to mature.

=======

I have been receiving the message to take risks and step into my power and it looks like I have a spirit guide now…

Are you looking to step more fully into your power? If so, call on Blue Jay to help and guide you.

Strength of Vulnerability

Photo by Abhiram Prakash on Pexels.com

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

Written by Carroll Ellis a member of Women Move it Forward

I am finding the spaces where I am vulnerable show my places of strength. Many years ago I found out learning requires a place of vulnerability. Just look at children they are the quintessential learners and they are so comfortable in that space of not knowing.  The excitement when learning is presented with enthusiasm and passion is precious as it beams from their faces.

Now days where appearances are all important being authentic and shouting to the world “I don’t know this… I am not good at this…” requires strength of character. Willingness to accept unpleasant comments or looks of disgust because others are pretending that they know and can do everything takes lots of courage.

I am finding that courage in mother earth. When I am connected and grounded to her I feel a sense of support and encouragement that cannot be sneered away. In my last new moon meditation I asked one of the guides “where do I find courage inside of me?” And her response had me laughing. She said “in all the nooks and crannies.” Those spaces are only big enough to hold a drop of courage.  Just one drop at a time tucked away in corners and hidden all over is all I can see.  And working through this, I am finding courage is very potent, one drop will move me past the first step and that’s all that’s needed. After the first step momentum kicks in and there’s no turning back.

Voluntarily stepping into spaces where I know I am vulnerable is the same thing as me shouting to the world “I don’t know this now, but just watch I will learn it so well you will seek my council.”

Do you have things you don’t know? If you do and if you seek out your drops of courage, I will get in line to seek your council.

 

Finding Outlets for Collective Rage

I’ve found an outlet for my collective rage. Thank God. And by collective rage, I mean the righteous anger that arises within me on behalf of all womankind every time I hear a #metoo story, every time I hear a woman’s voice being dismissed, and every time I hear that power is being wielded blindly, ignorantly and malevolently to exacerbate human suffering.

Since the inauguration of the 45th President, my insides have been slowly boiling. I’ve written letters and called my representatives, I’ve connected deeply with friends and family who share my pain for what is happening in our country and I’ve done my fair share of yelling and screaming to release myself from the grip of my outrage. But the news keeps on coming and our society now is beginning this simultaneously beautiful and horrific purging associated with the #metoo and #time’s up movements. And yet power structures continue to perpetrate grave injustices against people of color, immigrants, children and women. Reasonable people disagree as the lines between opinion and fact are blurred and certainty is valued over curiosity and compassion.

You know. We’re all living this upheaval in which we are disgusted and horrified on a near daily basis to hear stories of powerful individuals, primarily white men, who have used power to do harm. We all meet this moment with a reckoning based on our personal experiences, our personal stories and our empathy for our sisters (and brothers). We’re all finding our ways to actively engage, purposefully disengage, and to cope.

As a highly sensitive person with a stubbornly idealistic streak, my walk of this path has been a shaky one. Six months ago I joined a women’s boxing gym called Jabz and fell fully in love. Hitting heavy bags to loud music while surrounded and cheered by women has become key to my self-care. There are women there of every shape, size and age, all together to work out, punch stuff and feel good about themselves.

While listening to a podcast by Danielle LaPorte the other day (side note: I highly recommend her podcasts on sacred activism and sacred living) I was struck by her take on rage and the value of bringing your righteous rage to your practice, be it yoga, meditation, running, hiking or what have you.

“Devote that physical movement to a cause…use your body as a sacred tool,” Danielle LaPorte.

I realized that this is exactly what I’ve been doing at Jabz. As I hit those bags with my rage, it releases, and the fire of that anger takes on the shape of love and faith—a fervent, strident, insistent faith in the prevailing power of love and the ability of love to conquer all.

This practice has been essential in empowering me to be more fully engaged and to take the actions that both stir my soul and contribute to the collective good.

What self-care practices have supported your sacred activism in the last year? I want to hear!

The Necessity of Nature

Tags

Animals, Health, nature, Self-Care

As I’m writing this, it is the first day of Spring. Here in Colorado, on our farm, there is snow on the ground, left over from a storm that quite literally blew through a couple of days ago. We need the moisture, so I’m grateful that it is slowly melting into the ground, inspiring the grass to peek out and providing a much needed drink for the pine and aspen trees around the grounds.

One of the most pleasant harbingers of Spring is the return of the Meadowlark. I love their song. I imagine they were a bit surprised to find their return also included a snow storm, but it wouldn’t be the first time we’ve heard Meadowlark song before and after a big snow.

Listen:  https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Western_Meadowlark/sounds

Meadowlark

Not everyone is as lucky as I, surrounded by open fields, grand vistas of the Rocky Mountains, and our many household pets. Back in the day, in what we might call a kinder, gentler time, access to nature, whether it was in a park or by taking a drive in “the country”, was much more common. There’s something about spending some time watching the ripples on a pond, or the breeze gently blowing the grass that soothes a human’s soul, and we re-establish the connection that we inherently know – that we are all one.

These days, most people live in cities. The cities may have parks, but they are not as safe as they used to be. Even in the smaller towns through the U.S., danger seems to show up. People are spending more time indoors, plugged into their computers, talking to one another through text instead of in person, and having nary a whiff of fresh air. Our disconnection with one another, and with nature, is taking its toll.

In order to survive as a species, we need to establish a bond with the planet that nurtures and protects us. If we don’t, if we pillage and use up all resources, if we ignore the pain in our hearts, we are going to find ourselves in, as they say, deep weeds. Except there won’t be any weeds.

Our psyches need nature. Just watch inner city children introduced to farm animals. They can’t do it; they can’t maintain their protective shells around the gentle beings who only want to be petted and loved. They melt, and they find themselves. They may have to go back to their environment; they may have to put the mantle of protection back on – but they will not forget the look in the horse’s eyes that said “I acknowledge you for who you are; a fellow traveler on this planet like me. And I love and accept you for that.” (for more information about the impact of farms on inner-city children, check out these resources: http://environmentreport.org/?p=2814, http://blog.theanimalrescuesite.com/comptonposse/

What can you do today to touch nature?

 

Ashara Morris is the CEO of Harmony’s Heart LLC, of which Harmony’s Heart Animals is a part. Learn more about her and the way Harmony’s Heart is changing the world at http://www.harmonysheartanimals.com / http://www.harmonysheartcoaching.com / http://www.thewindriderproject.com

Permission To Fail

Written by Carroll a member of Women Move It Forward

Take a moment to feel in to the next two statements.

-We maintain very high standards.
-We have a zero-tolerance for failure policy.

…

For me the first statement is an exciting challenge; I love quality. The second fills me with dread; it is an impossible job.

For a good portion of my military career I worked under an official zero-tolerance for failure policy. And if you take a moment to break that policy into pieces and understand the basics of what it means we will understand that while the intention was good the effect is quite negative. Zero tolerance = no willingness to allow.

Tolerance is very important aspect of being human. A policy that has zero tolerance for failure means every single person in that organization has been convicted prior to the crime. It has left each person arguing with themselves on their own guilt or innocence.

Failure is a critical part of life, some of our best lessons come when we fail and to not be allowed to fail crushes any imagination and desire to move forward.

Visible effects of this policy are watching others and sometimes yourself lie and hide any and every mistake. Watching all initiative dissolve until you are left with an organization that grudgingly does less than what they’re told. It creates an atmosphere of tension and stress.

I have spent the last few years in retirement working through my issues around this subject. I have always striven to do the job correctly (any job). I have been somewhat of a perfectionist looking for details inside of details. Recently, I have come across a technique that is helping me to relax and let go of any anxiety that is created around not just my failures, but any and all possible future failures. It is a very simple and powerful tool.

I give myself and others permission to fail. That does not mean that I seek to fail just that I have permission to when the inevitable happens.

I look at myself in the mirror and say “I give you permission to fail.” When I go into a group I look at them and say silently “I give you permission to fail” because if there’s one place were failure occurs frequently it is in communication. So when miscommunication happens, it is very easy for me to forgive because I’ve already given permission. I believe the statement “the only certainty is death and taxes” should be changed to “the only certainty is death, taxes and miscommunication.”

An example of how this tool worked. I’m a member of a Toastmasters group I prepared for a week to present one of my speeches. Prior to the speech, I looked in the mirror and told myself several times “I give you permission to fail. If you fail this speech, no one will die, the economy will continue, and the world will turn.” I started the speech and I felt comfortable and confident. Then presenting the first point I forgot a critical piece; I skipped right over it and of course the rest of the speech referred back to this point. As soon as I realized what I had done I knew I could not recover and just throw the information in where I was. I did an internal dance of keep it, toss it, keep it… for the rest of the points. Many could say that the speech had failed completely. However, I considered it a great success, because I did not panic in the middle of my mistake. My emotions were quite calm even in that world-wind of a dance. My inner critic was out to lunch. I completed my speech. I acknowledge that it was not complete with what I had prepared; yet, I provided information, I gave a valuable demonstration and I received very good feedback.

Yes, as you can see the world is still turning.

Do you have anxiety around failure? If I may make a suggestion: repeatedly give yourself permission to fail and see how your anxiety dissolves.

Well, DUH, Moments

Most everyone has those “AHA” moments where the light bulb goes on and one gains a new shift in awareness. Lately, I have been having “well, DUH, moments.”  The kind of moments where you already know something, but do not necessarily practice what you preach.  The DUH, healer heal thyself moments.  The kind where you literally slap yourself in the noggin and say” DUH, really, how did I miss that?” moments.

I have been taking an animal communication course with Ashara Morris of Harmony Hearts Coaching. PLUG- her independent study course Best Life EVER with Your Pet has nearly caused me a concussion from the DUH slaps on my noggin! Her perspective was she did not know what she could teach ME.  My perspective was that I wanted to have a two way conversation with animals.  I knew I had blocks and I often rely on other communicators for help.  Especially when trying to communicate with those of my own fur friends (emotional attachment).  Candy, our most recent last chance rescue horse, is my catalyst.  Her forerunners were however household pets who have annoying habits.  Reaching Candy was a challenge.  She was a puzzle, and it was heartbreaking to know her intense pain was caused by human force. The annoyances are Lula the cat who treats me with absolute disdain and is nearly anorexic in her finicky-ness, and a pound hound with separation anxiety and several gross habits.  I have become so disgusted with Mariah’s problems that her positive attributes became diminished.  Both Lula and Mariah were consigned to my husband as HIS, because I couldn’t deal with them.  They were causing me anxiety.  Tom has a knack of loving them anyway, faults included.  Tom has been Lula’s chosen one all along.  I am her slave.  I am only fit to clean her litter box.

So far I have been through a third of the course, but Holy Guacamole! I have taken the tips and put them into practice.

Conversation with Lula the cat- “Lula, you are aging and in your teens. The longer you go without eating the more damage you do to your aging kidneys.  If you don’t eat, we are going to have to visit the Vet.  Are you sick, do you need to go to the Vet?  If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t go through everything I do to get you to eat. I am so frustrated because I have tried everything and nothing works.”  Lula’s response (her perspective), “No Vet.”  A shift did occur though. As long as I make her small meals at least 5 times a day and stand there with her, she eats.  I also tell her what a good kitty she is.  She has become extremely affectionate, purrs and follows me around and lies on my lap.  I can actually pet her! My energy had been telling her that I was frustrated so she avoided me at all costs. It came out as frustration, but underneath I really do care.  It is concern for her well-being.  I was finally able to shift frustration, help her understand my concern and care and create a connection. She now understands I care.  My husband claims “she now loves you more than me.”  She has improved so much that the trip to the Vet is postponed.  DUH!

I have really had to step out of what I had hoped for (my agenda) and the vision I held and deal with what is. All of my fur friends are rescues with special needs.  My greatest passion is offering healing.  My greatest pain is not being able to see that accomplished to the fullest extent (my perspective, not theirs).

My conversation with Mariah was humbling. She firmly said NO to several of my requests, even though she was aware with how disgusted I am with some of her anxious habits.  We have been able to reach some compromises however.  What became clear to me is that she may take a lifetime to heal the damages from her past.  Do I not also continue to work on my annoying habits and deal with past trauma on a daily basis?  Am I not loved anyway?  DUH!  The path of love is so much more open between us now.  Mariah actually walked into her crate on her own for the first time.  She has to be crated due to separation anxiety.  She creates horrible messes in the house when we are not here.  When I explained why she is crated, for her safety and security not for punishment, she seems more accepting.  She doesn’t like it.  We have compromised so that she can stay in a secure yard when the weather is nice. We have tried numerous things to make life better for Mariah, including adopting a companion dog to keep her company and visits to the Vet.  We are considering anxiety meds and stomach meds to see if that alleviates anxious habits.  Most of the time she seems happy.

My coaching partner and I have been doing self- care retreats and a support group for Care-Givers. The messages about self- care are according to horses, so it is somewhat humorous.  Of course it is the horses in the ECG Method that are truly the expert coaches!  These retreats and groups have been so powerful.  I am so deeply touched and rocked to my core by the sacrifices and services of Care-Givers.  I am blown away by how deeply meaningful this information being presented so simply really is.  Practicing self- care is an enormous task when ones time, energy and effort are depleted.  Healers do not have time to heal themselves.  It is rare they put themselves first.

It took last chance Candy (latest rescue horse) and doing all we could do to ease her physical, mental, emotional and yes, spiritual suffering to finally drive this home to me. Yes- I knew it, but did I practice self-care for me?  Nope.  Her life has completely turned around in six months.  We have done what we could do to ease her suffering.  We invested a great deal of finances.  So much that I kept postponing my medical care and other expenses.  That is how much she moved me. Her quality of life has improved so much.  She is comfortable and happy, no longer defensive, trying to bite and kick, her eyes wild with suffering.  People insist she is not the same horse.  She has become my teacher and my confidant.  She looked at me straight in the face one day and I heard her say- it’s your turn now Mom.  Your suffering can be eased.  Your quality of life can improve.  “See- look at me”.  We have been negotiating priorities for months to meet the special needs of our rescues and clients served.  I am tempted to start a GO FUND ME page on Facebook.  Some days I am overwhelmed, but I believe all will work out in the end.

Just as I slapped myself in the forehead again, DUH, that I could prioritize and negotiate my own medical care, and began to take action we were hit with more news. One horse needed a cancerous growth surgically removed. Then even more serious news.  Our cute little paint mare Eclipse has had problems for the year that we have had her. She has very messy, abnormal, prolonged heat cycles. In the conversation with her, from her perspective, she just loves Spirit and wants to have his baby.  I explained he is a gelding and can’t make babies.  Her response was she wants his baby anyway. She actually hid her left ovary from the Vet during the ultrasound! The ultrasound showed an ovarian tumor, as suspected, once the Vet finally located it.  The surgery for removal will cost thousands.  Friends and professionals are rallying around us.  We will postpone home improvements planned for this year. I doubt the surgery will dampen her desire to have Spirit’s baby.  That is her horsey agenda. We have to deal with the reality of what is.  Much like her what I hope and envision (my agenda) is not quite possible.  There is always compromise, changing perspective and a higher outcome.  Her health will improve, and either way, unfortunately she can’t have Spirit’s baby.  In time love will take the place of what can happen, not the disappointment of what can’t happen.

Guess what, even in all this- I found a way to practice self- care. I took action. My medical care has begun.  It is being prioritized and negotiated- just as I do for everyone else.  It is a great relief to improve my quality of life, even though I am facing possible painful surgery in the future. Calm has settled over me that it will all work out. I am also encouraged by several clients who are taking action in practicing self-care for themselves. Another one of those “Well, DUH, Moments!”

 

Growth – a Never Ending Process

Tags

animal communication, Animals, Coaching, Horses, power

From Ashara Morris, one of the bloggers on this site:

Last night I attended a women’s networking group in Denver, sponsored by one of the coaches I’ve worked with over the years. Let me digress for just a moment to say that I own my own business, and it has taken me a while to put on the CEO hat and really own the fact that I own the business. But I still don’t feel that much like a CEO. In my mind, that’s Howard Schultz, the CEO of Starbucks, or some other high-powered executive. My little 1 person show often, in my mind, doesn’t seem like it should even require a CEO. But that’s my title – along with Pet Psychic, certified EGCMethod(r) Coach, and Reiki Master. Many hats. The CEO one still doesn’t fit too well, but I’ve recently started embracing it a teeny bit more.

But back to that gathering. It is a group of executives and CEO entrepreneurs who are really making a difference in the world. The movers and the shakers, as it were, at least here in Denver. When I heard about it, I felt like that wasn’t my group of people, and I wasn’t going to go. Then I talked with a few women with whom I’d spent a year in a Mastermind. One has a business that is doing really well. A couple are still in startup mode. One is retiring from her day job the middle of February. All of them were attending. I gave this some more thought. My resistance was really up, and that’s when I realized I actually needed to attend. My inner gremlins were trying to keep me safe by telling me this was not my tribe. Well, let’s just set that gremlin straight. I paid my money, found something CEO-ish in my closet to wear, and headed to Denver.

I was easily the oldest woman in the room. That felt….strange. I’d never given it much thought before, but last night I noticed. (Oh, it’s the old lady gremlin!) When I arrived, I was given my name badge and told about the two stars on the front, that denoted the table I was to sit at to start the evening (color coded, very creative) and the one I would sit at for the break out session. I spoke with my friends, and the strangers at my table. I’m sure my vibe was a little off. After all, I’m “just” an animal communicator. This was, once again, those dang gremlins trying to keep me safe. And getting louder.

The breakout was in two parts. I got a glass of water and sat at what I thought was my designated table. But it wasn’t. Round one was back at the original table. I don’t know what it was about that, probably my “you must be PERFECT” gremlin, but I was mortified. I felt like an old lady who couldn’t keep a simple instruction in her head, and at the same time like I was 5 years old and couldn’t keep a simple instruction in my head. WOW. Thing is, I know what I was told at the door, and it didn’t jibe with what was actually happening. But rather than decide “oh well, it was just a misunderstanding” I folded into myself and was so upset I was almost in tears. Geeeeez.

Then a fairly good thing happened. At our table, we said what we did, what our hopes and dreams are for 2018, and then what the people at the table could help us with. I did that. I explained about how I help people understand their animals, how I wanted to change as many pet/people relationships as possible in 2018 and teach other people to do what I do, and then asked for help around the confidence to step into a lot of money coming my way. A woman at the table started asking about the problems I work on and the solutions I use. What? In the past, I would have been “the good girl” and just let her give me advice I didn’t really need. Last night, I stopped her, told her I did have a problem/solution statement (which was not what we were talking about), and that the help I was looking for was for my INTERNAL dialogue. The CEO in me pushed aside the gremlin who would have just let me sit there like a lump, very briefly raised her head and did what was needed to bring the conversation back to my actual appeal for help.

The bottom line: I will probably go again. It was uncomfortable hanging out with all that power, because I’m not used to it. But I won’t get used to it if I don’t hang out with it. On an empowerment call the next day, someone in the group posted this about someone else lamenting her many gremlins: “They get louder the closer you get to your own greatness.”

I must be getting close.

Ashara Morris is the CEO of Harmony’s Heart LLC, of which Harmony’s Heart Animals is a part. Learn more about her and the way Harmony’s Heart is changing the world at http://www.harmonysheartanimals.com / http://www.harmonysheartcoaching.com / http://www.thewindriderproject.com

Excellence is Always Adeqate

Excellence is always adequate.

I try not to use the terms “never” and “always”, but in a recent discussion with a friend, I found myself making the statement above. This friend is known for beating herself up and reliving every minor error in her mind over and over. She is also extremely capable and conscientious, and most people see her quite differently than she sees herself.

We often carry unexamined messages from childhood that affect our lives. These may be comments that were made casually by our parents, and have affected our self-image ever since. Many of us strive for perfection and exhaust ourselves, rather than saying something is “good enough”.

Others are comfortable with “good enough” and don’t make the effort to make or do something that they will be proud of. There are times when “good enough” is not “good enough” to satisfy our personal standards, and we may choose to raise those standards from “good enough” to “excellence”.

I have decided that I will give myself a score of excellent if 97% of what I produce is error-free. The Pareto Principle, or 80/20 rule states that 20% of the invested input is responsible for 80% of the results obtained. There are diminishing returns with the additional effort. I generally want to do better than 80%, therefore 20% of the effort is less than I choose to put in. To create results I’m satisfied with or even proud of, I am willing to put in 60% to 70% of the effort required for perfection in order to produce an excellent result.

Further, there are projects and tasks that are not important enough to require 80%, and others that require 99% rather than 97%. However, I have scratched my head searching for tasks and projects that require 100%, or perfection and come up with nothing.

Oxford defines adequate as “Satisfactory or acceptable in quality or quantity.”

Merriam-Webster defines adequate as:

• “Sufficient for a specific need or requirement”,
• “good enough : of a quality that is good or acceptable”, and,
• “of a quality that is acceptable but not better than acceptable.” 

I suspect that the final Webster definition is the one that sticks in the craw of those of us who drive ourselves to great lengths, and suggest that we visit tasks and projects on a case by case basis to determine which require more attention (excellence rather than adequate).

How many times do you drive yourself to distraction trying to be perfect?

After careful consideration, I have determined that for me, excellence is always adequate. There is never a time when perfection is required. If I have put in the effort on a worthy task, and the output is excellent, it does not need to be perfect.

Jocelyn Hastie

P.S. In the first publication of this post, I spelled adequate wrong in the title. It’s not too late to revisit and improve your work!

Jocelyn Hastie is the founder of Unbridled Business Solutions Inc., a company specializing in communications related training and creator of Cutting the Crush of Criticism.

 

 

Zero Tolerance For Anxiety

Anxiety. They have pills for that. However, there are no pills for anxiety’s cousins and near-neighbors: worry, stress and, the underpinning of it all, fear.

When I blew up my life nearly three years ago by calling off my engagement, I was sad and relieved. When I blew up my life again last fall by deciding to move my four legged family and myself to Arizona, I was excited, eager, confident, and ready to take on the world.  Meanwhile, my basic operating system was running in the background on the trifecta of fear.

Do you know the story, I’m not sure if it’s about frogs or lobsters, maybe both, in which the poor dear is placed in a pot of cool water and if the water is heated gradually, he simply stays in the pot until he’s cooked? His nervous system never sounds out the alarm to jump out because it adapts as the temperature rises, until it’s too late. Like my amphibious and crustacean friends, I’d become habituated to stress, except that it wasn’t hot water I adapted to, it was a cascading deluge of fearful thoughts.

Around the time of the inauguration, my inner world had become such a perfect reflection of the political world that my skin seemed to exist only for show. It became a daily challenge to live on purpose, to stay focused on my true work and not the world’s ills.

And so, naturally, I became ill. I was thirsty all the time, fatigued and having dizzy spells. I was drinking gallons, yes gallons, of water a day and still my thirst was not quenched. I saw doctors and specialists and had blood tests and brain scans which all amounted, thankfully and frustratingly, to nothing.

One day, in a period of 24 hours, three experts told me they believed I needed to be medicated for anxiety. At long last, I registered the alarm from my nervous system in response to this shout out from the universe through the voices of these three disparate experts: an endocrinologist, a family doctor and a chinese medical herbalist.

My inner world turned and I took back control over the one thing I can control: my thoughts. I went for acupuncture, stopped consuming news, thanked God for my health and calmed myself every time I felt the call of thirst. My symptoms subsided in a matter of weeks.

The pain of this world would kill me, if I let it, empath that I am. And to the extent I allow the political climate to affect my emotional well-being, it will continue to do me harm. And I suppose I could let it. I could martyr myself on the cross of my values as I see so many do every day.

But here’s the thing: I want so much more for myself and I see a vastly bigger picture. I see a world that is shaking itself up like a miner sifting for gold. And I could focus on the shakes and all the dirt and that damned sieve. Or I could focus on the gold. The gold that is you and me and all that is holy in our destiny.

The gold in me is my sacred center. I connect to it through my time with horses, curiosity, adventure, exploration, and joy; through my work with clients and my creative time; through meditation. I connect to it through loving my friends and my family, and through personal work that expands my capacity to open my heart in loving action. I connect to it through trust: trust in self, trust in Spirit, and trusting in the light in others.

My dreams are big. My capacity to serve is enormous. But first I must serve myself by respecting the sacred vessel that is this body I get to inhabit during my time here on Earth.

I now have a zero tolerance policy for anxiety. When anxiety comes knocking, I meet it, interrupt it, redirect it, explore it, experiment with it…I do whatever it takes to stay conscious and to not allow myself to boil in this water.

I believe that if I focus on the gold and empower others to focus on the gold…and if you do the same…and we all act from that place of our best, most expanded selves…I believe that one day the sacred love we cherish in our inner worlds will be reflected in the outer world.

And whether I get to see that change or not, I will live a life of greater joy and meaning through following this gold-flecked path.