So long, farewell…

Photo courtesy makeaname.org

Written by Carroll a member of women move it forward blog

I would like to start by saying this blog has been so healing for me. The reason I became part of it was to work through my fear of writing. Most people have a fear of speaking in front of others I had no problem with that, but any essay questions on a test or any paper I was required to write would put me into a sweat.

So here we are years later and I have overcome that through this form. I give thanks upon thanks to all of my co-authors as well as anyone who read a post. And oddly enough this is the 50th year after the movie the sound of music. And as our group discussed the fact that we had all grown and we are all moving forward and that this blog will remain available for viewing and in case any of us wants to contribute an inspired post, I intuitively had the song from the sound of music playing in my head…

There’s a sad sort of clanging
From the clock in the hall
And the bells in the steeple, too
And up in the nursery
An absurd little bird
Is popping out to say coo-coo
(Coo-coo, coo-coo)
coo-coo Regretfully they tell us
coo-coo But firmly they compel us
coo-coo To say goodbye

To you

So long, farewell
Auf wiedersehen, goodnight
I hate to go and leave this pretty sight

So long, farewell
auf Wiedersehen, adieu

Adieu, adieu
To you and you and you

So long, farewell
Au revoir, auf Wiedersehen

I’d like to stay
And taste my first champagne
yes?

no!

So long, farewell
auf Wiedersehen, goodbye

I leave and heave
A sigh and say goodbye
Goodbye….

I’m glad to go
I cannot tell a lie

I flit, I float
I fleetly flee, I fly

The sun has gone
To bed and so must I

So long, farewell
auf Wiedersehen, goodbye

Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye

Goodbye

Read more:  Sound Of Music – So Long, Farewell Lyrics |

Thank you!

An Attitude of Gratitude

I was listening to a podcast with Brene Brown the other day and was struck by what she shared from her interviews with people who’ve suffered grief from terrible losses, such as the loss of a child. Brene shared that we often feel that when we’re sitting across from someone who has lost a child, we hesitate to speak of the joys our children bring us, because we don’t want to make them feel worse. But when we do this, what we’re actually communicating is that we don’t want to share about our own joys, because we don’t want to hear about, or aren’t prepared to hold space for, their pain. What people who’ve suffered tremendous loss actually want to hear is that we’re grateful for the joys in our lives. That we cherish our good fortune, because we truly understand that we are blessed and that not everyone is fortunate in the way that we are.

I have been a fortunate person all of my life. I also have suffered losses. But I think the greatest loss of all has been a loss of perspective. A loss of perspective that came from a loss of belief in myself and belief in a loving, guiding Spirit.

We all experience loss. It’s part of being alive. But we have a choice in the story we tell ourselves about that loss. We have a choice in the way we go about making meaning out of grief—whether we are grieving a departed love one, the end of a relationship, career, or way of life.

In the course of the past decade our so, I have chosen to follow my heart and walk away from a promising career as a scientist and an engagement. I have courageously ventured into the unknown world of business, coaching, healing arts, and teaching as a single thirty-something woman.

And though I have made these choices freely and boldly, I have been like a house divided, my mind following my heart grudgingly and shouting warnings that at times, drowned out the voice of my heart.

My mind has told me a story that my meandering path is a path that makes me less than others, peers who have achieved more in their young lives. She has told me that I have not fully realized my potential because Spirit holds me as less than worthy. And I have, at times, believed her.

Believing her stories of victim hood has been a handicap to my own happiness. And it has created a loss of perspective that has dishonored my incredible good fortune. She has hijacked my gratitude.

I’ve come to realize that my life is, truly, perfect exactly as it is. I’m supported in all the ways I need support. My responsibilities and commitments match my desires and capacities. My struggles propel my growth. My growth paves the way for my destiny.

My attitude of gratitude anchors me in the joy of my present moment. My fearful mind can take a backseat to my heart. The trees and the flowers, the leaves and the cactus, the animals and the stars can sing to me their song of love and I can feel the pulse of life in me that resonates with them and with all that is.  I am free to be grateful.

~ Emily Glidden

This will be my last post as a contributing member of the Women Move it Forward blog.  I have loved my time as a member of this group–our connection, the forum to explore myself as a writer and the opportunity to interact with readers.  Thank you to all the writers and readers.  May you all continue to move forward, staying true to yourselves and allowing your unfolding evolution.

Courage

It seems that this will be my last post for “Women Move it Forward.” It might be just a hiatus. It has taken courage for me to share my personal journey. It will take courage to continue to move forward. I never once thought of this word in association with me. Twice recently, from two different people I have been told I have courage. One was an ex Fire Chief, whom I would suppose knows about courage.

So I looked up the meaning of courage. Here are some words that describe courage:

Courage is the choice and willingness to confront agony, pain, danger, uncertainty, or intimidation. Physical courage is bravery in the face of physical pain, hardship, death or threat of death, while moral courage is the ability to act rightly in the face of popular opposition, shame, scandal, discouragement, or personal loss.

Courage is strength in the face of pain or grief. It is being brave, audacious, courageous, having pluck, fearlessness, intrepidity, nerve, daring, bold, dauntless, backbone, spine, spirit, mettle, determination, fortitude, resolve, resolute, guts, grit, spunk. The list goes on and on.

I remember vividly times in my life that were filled with fear. Free floating fear and anxiety. Years of it. Nearly a lifetime. Fear for myself, family and friends, others, society and the planet. Throughout all of it, I managed to muster courage. Some major shift occurred inside of me when I began to regard myself as one with courage. The more you practice, the more natural it becomes. I could also see in others courageous acts. Most of these acts of intestinal fortitude are quiet, within everyday life, over looked and taken for granted.

A friend showed me a vibration of emotions chart recently.  Fear vibrates at 100HZ. Courage 200HZ. Love 500HZ. Divine Consciousness 1000HZ. If one is able to shift from fear to courage it boosts you into a higher vibration. Each small step away from fear moves us in a positive direction towards courage, then love, then onward to higher consciousness.

A quote or Meme has been floating around social media recently. I have been unable to find the author of it. I hope that it inspires you as much as it has me. Because, as the quote says, no matter what, “light ran wild within her.” May we all continue to find the light that runs wild within us!.

“And perhaps what made her beautiful

was not her appearance

or what she achieved,

but in her love

and in her courage,

and her audacity to believe:

no matter the darkness around her,

light ran wild within her,

and that was the way she came alive,

and it showed up in everything.”

:

All Good Things…

I am a Star Trek fan. I will date myself by saying that on September 8, 1966, when the original Star Trek premiered, I was there. I was 16, and my life was forever changed by the possibility of new worlds, new civilizations, and a Vulcan named Spock. A world a bit more benevolent than the one we were living on in the 60’s. Star Trek gave us hope.

As it evolved, so did we. And while I was extremely loyal to what is now called “Classic Trek”, I also fell in love with the Enterprise-D and its diverse, wonderful crew, headed up by Captain Jean-Luc Picard.

After seven years, Captain Picard’s Enterprise left the airwaves, and the two-part finale was titled “All Good Things.” It was a ripping yarn of time travel, alternate timelines, and quite satisfactorily (to my mind), ended the television journey of that noble ship.

Of course, there were films, and they were pretty good too. But eventually, the crew moved on, and JJ Abrams rebooted “Classic Trek” with an amazing cast and a new look at the world of Star Trek. Still hopeful, still full of new worlds and new civilizations, and with its feet firmly planted in our present. It’s great, and I hope it goes on for several more films.

As with Star Trek, growth and change is inevitable for all of us, and I am no exception. I’ve been posting on this blog for a couple of years now. It has nourished me as I navigated through the passing of my mother, a friend’s adventure with breast cancer, and the letting go of childhood wounds. I’ve also been nourished by the posts of my fellow bloggers, all beautiful women with warm, loving hearts, who have opened themselves up in this forum to share their deepest grief and their highest accomplishment. I salute you all.

This will be my last post for Women Move It Forward, but it doesn’t mean that I’ve stopped moving forward. Indeed, I will be posting on my own website, and taking my life and business to exciting new levels. New worlds. New civilizations. And, like the Enterprise, I will boldly go where I’ve never been before.

To all of you I say, in the words of that eminent Vulcan – Live Long, and Prosper.

 

 

__________________________________

Ashara Morris is a certified Equine Gestalt Coach, Animal Communicator and Trekkie. You can find more information about her and the work she does at www.harmonysheartcoaching.com or www.harmonysheartanimals.com.

 

Beginnings and Endings

This blog is in flux, and may not survive. I am sad about that, but not sad enough to take the step forward to keep it going. This situation gives me pause, and leads me to think about the choices I make and priorities I set.

This is the only blog where I have been reasonably consistent in posting. I have a few websites with blogs attached and have not made a posting on them for months. This blog has become a place for me to express my thoughts without the rigor of a weekly post. I have enjoyed participating.

I am moving into a different phase of my life and stepping into the public speaking realm in a bigger way. I am running for election for a senior post with Toastmasters that carries responsibilities that will be time consuming. Within Toastmasters, I have willingly stepped up to more time commitment.

This blog is not currently time consuming as we post only every other month. However, I have come to admit that I am not willing to give it much more than that. I will miss the interaction with the wonderful women that are my co-contributors. I am worried that with this link gone, our paths will no longer cross and I will lose a link to my past.

It is up to me to make the effort to stay in contact with those women that have supported me. As I experience life and become ever more self-aware, I think about the choices I make, and say “no” more often. Saying “no” to an experience does not need to mean that I am saying “no” to the relationships fostered by that experience.

I wish all readers and contributors to this blog many blessings, continued healing and support.

Devolution

Our lives are full of transitions and ever-changing.  People move in and out of our lives.  Jobs change and shift.  Our health changes.  Here in Wyoming our weather changes ubruptly within hours and minutes.

Some changes are minor and we move through them quickly with barely a ripple.  We may not even take note of them.  Others are momentous, ugly, devastating. Others are momentous and joyous.

Some people handle change with ease,  others do not.  Whether it’s their temperament, their astrological sign or the baggage they carry,  the “why” isn’t important.  A self awareness surrounding how change affects you is what is truly important. It’s important for you to share that awareness with others as well.

Recently,  my husband and I were having a lovely lunch and he mentioned that he was actually looking forward to riding and doing horse stuff with me.  That statement was quickly followed by an awareness and statement that he was “devolving”. I wasn’t even sure that was word. It is, I looked it up, however, he didn’t really use it correctly.  I got his meaning regardless. We had a good laugh about it and a wonderful discussion ensued. I argued that he wasn’t “devolving”  but rather “evolving “. He was moving away from barbaric,  cave man grunting activities such as MMA and grappling towards much more refined equestrian activities. This discussion was quite animated as we bantered back and forth.  I’m sure the other patron enjoyed our interaction.

But truly our relationship is evolving.  All of our children are married and out of the house. We are shifting roles,  finding balance and sometimes just trying to figure it out one moment at a time. Communication has been key.  Laughter is necessary and healing.

Some folks might think devolution is a negative thing but in this case I welcome my hubby’s devolution.  I look forward to riding off into the sunset with my ever “devolving” husband!

Happy Trails!

Michelle

Encouraged to Fail …. Or Not

Posted by BB Harding

Now tell the truth…what was evoked within you as you opened this blog and saw the giant red F? In terms of our typical conditioning, I would say that as a whole, we are not really permitted to fail. How many disparaging remarks are there for one who has failed – loser, no good/no account, worthless, ne’er-do-well, disappointment, washout. What if we saw our experiences, some of which relates to failure, as simply the possibility to learn? How would it shift perceptions, and the way one lives their life?

As I continue my studies of Human Design, one of the topics is the 3^rd line profile (determined by the conscious or unconscious sun). Either a person has the 3 profile directly, or they might have a 6 profile where the first 28-30 years of life are as if one is a 3. In traditional Human Design the 3 is referred to as the Martyr. Not what you would call a very enticing label to have. As I listened to the instructor discuss the importance of creating a safe place for the 3 to experiment and to fail, and then when they fail to talk with them about what they learned, she had my attention.

For the 3, it is important to have hands-on experiences, where they try things and fail. They are designed to make mis-takes. This is the way that they learn to develop the knowledge and resiliency through tenacity and adaptation. In a group, when they say, “nah, that won’t work” pay attention, for they have been there, done that. The challenge is going through the experiences without becoming pessimistic – that everything that they touch turns to “caca.”

Since hearing this information a couple of weeks ago, I have been thinking about that off and on. I’m a 6 line, so the 3 line applies to the first part of my life. The foremost thought has been “and when they fail, ask them what they learned.” When they fail?!? I looked back over my life to see what kinds of things I learned about failure. How I was encouraged to go out and “fail” so that I could learn? Hmmm, not so much. In fact, I don’t really recall anything akin to “Honey, that’s ok. Tell Mommy/Daddy what you learned when you did that.” I also can’t say that they got really down on me because I failed, or even failed to try.

I remember discovering my report card once where there were D’s and F’s all over it. I don’t recall my parents taking me to task for not being the best and brightest. As a younger child, my specialty was sports and reading comic books, not really much to measure success or failure. I played to have fun and occasionally to win. The thing I loved most in the comic books was the “fact page” located in the center. I learned how flies walked on the ceiling and impressed my teacher; and that serfs had to live a year and a day away from the manor they were tied to to become a freed-man. That factoid came in handy when I was a junior in high school. It wasn’t until 7^th grade that I started to really engage with classroom activities. My teacher taught us to diagram sentences, and I fell in love with that process. After that, I did much better at school. Ah, I digress.

So, not taken to task for outright failure, what did happen? I would say I was encouraged to do better. If I got a B, why didn’t I get and A? If I didn’t get something done, how could I work harder to make it happen? If I didn’t do well, then I didn’t reap any rewards. How to avoid doing things that didn’t work. Ah, that last thing was a big one, and lends itself to some of my risk-taking adversity. I have a preference for not failing. During my period of contemplation, I had the realization that I probably would have never made the lightbulb if I had been Thomas Edison. Even though I have had experiences that have had me “figure things out,” it still is not a preferred method of operation. I like to know that I am more sure-footed than that.

I have noticed the last few weeks, that I have been wondering about reversion to the energy of my 3rd line stage so that I could become more tolerant of experimenting and rechoosing. I may have shared before that one of the challenges for me has been that once I made a choice, I felt as if I was stuck with that choice. So, making a decision was not a light thing to do. I didn’t want to cut off opportunities; I didn’t want to make a mistake. I hadn’t learned that it was part of my experiencing and that the thing to do was to look at what I had learned from the experience. There is a sense of release to know that another perception is what will I learn rather than I have failed.

How can you work with the concept of failure? How much permission do you give yourself to learn from your “mistakes?”

=====================================================

This will be my last entry as a regular contributor to the Women Move It Forward blog. It has been an honor to participate with this amazing group of women, and share some of my thoughts over the last (nearly) three years. I hope that they have brought inspiration and new perspectives to your lives.  I’d like to also thank you for tuning in to read the wisdom that is shared in this space.

Spring Equinox – Revised!

Spring Equinox – Revised!

The news recently reported that more accurate scientific research proved the spring equinox began at 5:58 pm EDT March 20 in my hemisphere. As a retired engineer I applaud this precise analysis and new findings. Science’s role of constant reexamining “known” facts or assumptions will continue to do so forever. Others I spoke with were upset. They said that all their life they had celebrated March 21 as the beginning of spring and didn’t want to know anything differently.

It seems our love of information or “data” for data’s sake has created a frightened and frustrated culture. It’s easy to forget that we as a society have a unquenchable thirst to know the unknown. But for many the constant onslaught of new facts causes undoes stress, anxiety and fear. We hear of this self-imposed frustration so often that certain idioms have become commonplace. Phrases such, as “I couldn’t sleep when I heard that or I’m so upset by what I you said I can’t think straight or I’m so angry I want to punch someone.” are common. But why I ask do we buy into this drama? We have the power to accept or dismiss the information that encircles our world.

When I’m confronted with new information and discover one of my preconceived “beliefs” no longer valid, I wait, stay present and try not to immediately react. I respond to the latest news as “very interesting”. I choose to not allow that uncomfortable feeling to escalate into stress, anxiety or hand wringing.

Information is just information, no more and no less. What I do with new knowledge is my decision. I try not to run my life based on split second data bots or the latest trends. I try not be distracted and be a  more balanced and leisurely kind of gal. I turn to nature, outdoor surroundings or the horses when I start to feel my head taking over my heart. If I find I’m overwhelmed by all the “news, real or fake” I turn off the radio, phone and TV. I sit quietly and search for that inner voice of calm and reassurance. I go for a walk or play with the dog. I string beads. I listen to birds, wind or water knowing their melodies sooth and refresh my soul.

As to the revised spring equinox, please don’t take this new information too personal. It’s not meant to offend, but after hearing others comments, many questions filled my head.

• Wow, should my world be rocked or not? No
• How do I take on this new information? Very interesting.
• Should I be sad or embarrassed that what I knew as a child and was taught in grade school some 60 years ago no longer applies? No
• Does this imply that I myself am old and outdated? No
• This is cool but do I need to correct my calendar? Maybe
• Does it really matter that spring no longer officially comes on the 21^stof March? No
• Is Mother Nature affected by this announcement? No

No matter what our clocks or calendars indicate the moment when the amount of night and day is equal is just that, a moment.  When the daylight lengthens the grass will grow faster, the trees will bud, the flocks and bluebonnets will bloom, the roses will release their first scent of spring, the horses will finish shedding and it will be time to plant.  Mother nature will prevail, with or without our clocks telling us otherwise. Our senses inform us the season of growth and renewal is here. We might even discover that we don’t need a clock or computer to tune into the daily and monthly cycles of the earth and start to enjoy life a bit more. Now let’s apply a fresh approach to all the other distractions and enjoy life again.

 

 

Barbarais a certified practitioner of the Equine Gestalt Coaching Method, a retired Professional Engineer, Qi Gong Instructor and owner of Wayfinding With Horses. She is passionate about horses and their wellbeing as well as her clients. Clients have reported a heightened sense of awareness, a more profound understanding of their relationships and a deeper understanding of their own personal journey.  She and her horses, dogs and cat live at Wayfinding Farm, located near Ocala Florida.

 

About Wayfinding With Horses

Wayfinding With Horses, is a coaching program that offers experiential classes in a natural undemanding setting. When unexpected events such as divorce, empty nest, retirement or loss occur, it is easy to get knocked off course and feel lost. This is why I created a healing place where you the horses with nature reunite with your own internal compass, the essence of your being. Barbara is the owner of Wayfinding with Horses and offers supportive EGCMethod® coaching.

View all posts by Wayfinding With Horses »

Surrender

Written by Carroll a member of Women Move It Forward.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. ~Albert Einstein

Do you want to change something in your life?

Are you getting up on the same side of the bed each day? Are you drinking coffee in your favorite mug? Driving to work the same way? Seeing the same people each day?  Are you living in a routine each and every day and expecting to have a healthier happier life?

What risks are you inviting into your life?

The last few months I have been shaking up the energy of my life. I have had a professional home coach come in and show me where my life energy was stuck by having me look at the stuff in my home. She showed me through clever questions where I was holding onto things for no reason other than a sense of lack (stuck).

Again through caring and concern she questioned me about the purpose of my”stuff” and that lead to a very insightful awareness that all stuff has its own energy. And just like breathing, I can’t just breath in and hold; I can’t bring stuff into my home and hold or the energy will get stuck. For new things to happen I have to make room by letting go of the old.

I now have an office transformed from a stuck in time storage room, into a creative fun space I gravitate to even when I have no “work” to accomplish.  The side affects are a new path is opening up and I can feel life and my heart speaking.

I am seeing new horizons.

I challenge you to look at you life, shake up your routine, step into new risks and surrender to letting go and letting in  new horizons.

Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it …. Snow AGAIN?

I’ve been having a love/hate relationship with winter for many years. When I tell people I live in Colorado, the first thing they say is “Oh, you must ski.”

No. I essentially hibernate, especially in January and February (which in Colorado is the longest month of the year – will the cold and snow never end?)

When other people are out snowboarding, skiing, or tubing with their kids, I’m in the house trying to keep warm. In the winter, there are never enough cats to layer on the bed, or enough incentive to get me to even think about hitting the slopes.

I tried. In my 20’s and 30’s I tried to be a one of those Coloradan’s who lives for winter. Cross-country skiing was pretty okay, because you’re always moving and it’s easier to stay warm. My fondest memory of a Colorado winter was a cross-country skier traversing the Pearl Street Mall during quite the little snowfall, where the flakes came down thick, but not fast. It was magical. And I was inside one of the mall restaurants, sipping on a glass of wine, enjoying time with my spouse and some friends, watching that person swoosh by. Ahhh, yes, a fond memory indeed.

The last few years it’s been pretty dry in the winter, and that has been a double-edged weather pattern. It’s been nice for getting outside on the sunny days, not much to worry about in the snow department, and easy to travel from one place to another, which is important when you live on a dirt road and the nearest (small) town is about 15 minutes away. Better have a full larder.

On the down side of the dryness, nothing really grows. So a dry winter and dryer spring means no hay for the horses. Now that we have 30 acres in hay, moisture has become more important to me (of course – it’s all about me – and my horses). We have been fairly bereft of hay from our own field the last couple of years.

And what about those rumors we heard about our dirt road being blocked by drifts? Nah, we thought, not going to happen, if the last two years were anything to judge by.

Then there’s this year. A more “normal” year in the snow and cold department. VERY long January, even longer February. Multiple snow storms. Wind howling like the proverbial banshee, which means drifts. Big drifts. Six foot high drifts across our dirt road that prevent anyone from leaving, or coming home. My beloved spent two days in a hotel near his work  because our road was blocked with drifts in both directions. Of all the beings living in our house, the only one who looked even remotely happy about the snow was Niko, our malamute.

I gaze out at our back field, though, and even though I don’t care for winter, or cold, or snow, I bless every flake, because I know we’re going to have a bumper crop of hay this year. Like everything, there are two sides to the situation. So I’ll enjoy the snowstorms, even the part where we have to slog down to the barn to take care of the horses, and know that Mother Nature is taking care of us. We have a warm house, and yes, our larder is full. It can snow all it wants, and I’ll take a deep breath and say thank you.

Just don’t ask me to ski.